 Comedy: September 20, 2006 Issue [#1271] |
  Comedy
This week: Edited by: Mavis Moog  
More Newsletters By This Editor 
1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
This month I hope to give you all even more detail on how to be funny.
How did Benny Hill and Jim Davidson do it? Well, it's no longer a secret, here's the formulae for you to cut and paste and use, ad infinitum.
Happy reading.
Mavis Moog |
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How (not) To Be Funny, Part II
Last month I guaranteed that having read my instructions, everyone would write a funny story. I have had no claims on my guarantee, so I know you've all achieved your aim. Just couldn't be bothered sending them to me. Well, that's fine. You don't do this job for gratitude, that's one thing for certain. I've been told we do it for the GPs!
If you missed last month's master-class, never fear. Here's part two. To make it simple, I've put together a list of things which are funny. These are the broad paddles of humour:
 Pain:- It's great to laugh at the pain of others. Millions of hours of film reel have been dedicated to this truth. Swipe someone across the head with a plank, and do it as often and in as many ways as possible, and you'll have them rolling in the aisles. However, writing about it might require a little more talent. But you can cause pain with your writing.
Write ethnic jokes or ones which make disabled people feel uncomfortable, or even suicidal, and you're guaranteed a laugh. The greater the pain to the smaller the section of society and the better the effect. It's a direct relationship.
Surprise:- I covered this in a junior fashion in last month's newsletter, but for the advanced funny-man, here's the straight poop. What we really mean is SHOCK. Make sure you leave your readers howling with indignation and rage. They love it really.
Filth:- Innuendo and outright vulgarity is a must for all successful comedy. Remember to use as many obscene words as you can think of, and you're guaranteed to hit the big time. Don't limit youself to coarse references to the reproductive act, make sure you wallow in some toilet humour too. The muckier the better.
Lies:- How often have you managed to make your little girl's day by telling her you found her under a gooseberry bush, or that she's having goose-beak pie for tea? Strange how geese seems to figure strongly in lies.
At the bus-stop: If someone asks you whether the bus has been, tell them it went five minutes ago, and you just weren't in the mood to get on it. That should make them laugh.
At the supermarket: Have your accomplice wait near the freezers with your cart full to the brim, while you stand at the checkout with a hand-basket containing just two items. Notice the queue form behind you, as eager shoppers think they've got a fast track. Then when it's your turn, whistle for your actual shopping to arrive. That's a great one - watch the other shoppers fall about laughing.
At the airport: Tell the security guards you left your bags in Streatham Mosque while you shopped at the drugs store for flammable liquids. They'll just love your refined sense of irony.
Words and delivery:- having characters speaking in funny accents is always a hoot. Better still give them a speech impediment too. Some words are actually funny just in their own right. We Brits love it when Americans say, aloo-minnum instead of the obviously superior pronunciation: al-um-in-ium. Remember to make Orientals say velly instead of very and don't forget that all intelligent people spit while talking and can't pronounce their esses.
Do you remember Monty Python's woody and tinny word discussion? The same can be done for funny and unfunny words. For instance, some claim that words with a K in them are funny. Ketchup is funny, whereas salsa isn't.
Try these: kaput, schmuck, cake, flaky and kibitka.
References:- Make sure you know all the pop culture there is to know. You won't be funny if you can't imitate Ace Venturer, with an, "Alrighty" or if you think, "Doh!" is something you make bread with. You must watch all the popular films and TV shows to let this stuff really soak into your bones.
So there you have it; the recipe for books-load of hilarious writing. Remember, subtlety is the enemy of all comedians and humorous writers, mash it home with a sledgehammer if you want the morons out there to get it!
By the way, sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. |
I'm sure this one has been stolen from a real TV show. Maybe it's just very realistic  .
I had heard this joke, but maybe you haven't. It's worth the telling and is presented well.
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This is just pure madness, but the more geeky amongst you will probably find a deep sense of belonging in this item.
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Here's a story that uses the word, ketchup.
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An intelligent approach to filth!
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Here's one of my own humorous poems. While self-promotion is shameful, comedy is generous; I just want to make you smile.
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These two are entries, the first is very funny, the second is serious, but relevent to all newsletters.
I make no apologies for including this blog entry from my friend, emmyloo. She's a very funny lady, with a wonderful way of making laughter from some of the most depressing situations.
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This rant from a fellow moderator and newsletter editor John~Ashen  should be read by all. Isn't he the best? I just wish he'd name and shame. Perhaps readers can help him out with that.
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
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Thank you for sending your feedback to this newsletter. I need to know what you like and what you don't, so don't limit your feedback to praise. Treat it like a review, and give me your straight opinions and suggestions.
Jokes welcome too
Don't forget to pose some questions. If I can help I will, and I'm sure other readers will have some excellent advice.
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Here's the response to last month's Newsletter:
scarlett_o_h
Excellent and VERY original Newsletter Mavis; I thoroughly enjoyed it and laughed out loud at some of your comments. Of course, I had to follow the 'stick your tongue out and try to say slippers while looking in a mirror' advice. I bet you can't do that as your tongue is too firmly stuck in your cheek.
Thanks for the inspiring and hilarious read...off to test if my laughter levels are correct by reading your picks now.
Nada
Hi Mavis,
Thoroughly enjoyed this issue! I've gone to three or four of your referrals, and I have to say I laughed at each of them. (You knew I would...didn't ya?)
I had no idea what a call back was, except in the world of cattle calls for auditions, and then, rarely heard the term from the lips of my agent. Good information, thanks.
Sincerely,
Sheila
schipperke
I loved your suggestion about saying slippers with my tongue out. That got a laugh out of me this morning! Great newsletter and great picks!
sully
When this issue of the newsletter hit my mailbox, I was just in chat complaining that the Comedy Newsletter was a littel flat and stale. Actually, I said it sucked. I have to admit though, this issue was vastly improved. Great tips and advice this time! Keep 'em coming Mavis!
esprit :
Mavis, this is a great letter. The Billy Connolly comment was especially funny. Why is it the jokes on the husband are always funnier than the wives? I never laugh at those. lol A bunch is interesting picks, too. Thanks - good work! Oh! How long is the guarantee good for?
Robert Waltz 
Thank you for featuring a story of mine in the Comedy newsletter, Mavis And yes, I did get the joke about the spectacles - it's... just... not very funny
The Milkman
I once had a hyper boil on my foot once... the podiatrist told me to soak my foot in coffee before he lanced it...lol
I enjoyed reading your instructions on how to write a funny story, but since I've been doing it my way for so long now I don't think I'll be able to change. I'm sure the others will appreciate your advice though...lol
We can all see how successful your way is too. (see Editor's Picks). - MM
Barbs
Very helpful letter. Thank you for including my story, I appreciate the exposure.
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