Main Entry: corny
Pronunciation: 'kor-nE
Function: adjective
Inflected Form(s): corn•i•er; -est
1 : archaic : tasting strongly of malt
2 : of or relating to corn
3 : mawkishly old-fashioned : tiresomely simple and sentimental <told corny jokes>
- corn•i•ly /'kor-n&-lE/ adverb
- corn•i•ness /'kor-nE-n&s/ noun

Ouch. Despite the harsh denunciation of “corny jokes,” they never seem to lose their popularity. There’s something comforting and familiar about corny jokes. Perhaps that’s because they inevitably call to mind our fathers and grandfathers, and give us a sense of continuity as they slip from our lips to our children’s ears as easily as old wives’ tales.

And puns may be the “lowest form of humor” in some circles (notably, among those who don’t immediately “get” the play on words and end up feeling dim-witted), but despite the moaning and groaning over a bad pun, they remain popular, as well.

Puns are little "plays on words" that a certain breed of person loves to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the cleverest person on Earth now that Benjamin Franklin is dead, when in fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a lifeboat, the other passengers will hurl him overboard by the end of the first day even if they have plenty of food and water. -- Dave Barry, Why Humor Is Funny

Then again, if you are an obsessive-compulsive punster, perhaps you ought to have your head examined:

* "Forster's Syndrome." Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 26 Mar 2006, 00:36 UTC. Wikimedia Foundation, Inc. 6 Sep 2006 <http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Forster%27s_Syndrome&oldid=45492016>.

If you’ve ever studied a foreign language, you know that agonizing moment that occurs when a friend says “Oh, really? Say something in…” French, English, Japanese, Bahasa Indonesia - I’m sure it works the same way in any language. You may have reached the point where you could pass for a native speaker, but you are suddenly struck dumb.

“What do you want me to say?” You know it doesn’t matter; you’re simply stalling for time. You know, and dread, the answer:

“Oh, anything you like.”

Who, here, finds it easy to be funny on command? “Say, Bob, you’re a funny guy. How about you do a little comedy to warm up the audience tomorrow night before we introduce the new CEO?” Nothing kills the funny bone faster.

I am sitting here watching Jay Leno. I try to imagine what it must be like, working as a writer for his opening monologue. I envision a room full of guys standing in front of a firing squad…

I’m sure they love what they do. And the one thing that makes it tolerable is that Jay has faith enough to stand up there in front of millions of viewers and deliver those lines - and make them sound good. Every now and then, though, even Leno flops. Can’t you just hear the gunshot from the back room, where they keep the writers?

Damn, there goes another one… “Next!”

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Among the tips I’ve read lately for comedy writers, one stands out in my mind: Be vulnerable. Isn’t that the way to make a connection - between speaker and listener, or writer and reader - no matter whether it’s comedy or a eulogy or a presentation to the stockholders? Okay…bad analogy. Stockholders are a bunch of sharks. With teeth. No vulnerability at the annual board meeting. But really, if the audience can relate to you - without going so far as to squirm with vicarious humiliation and pity for you - it’ll work.

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