Comedy: January 03, 2024 Issue [#12343]
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 This week: New Year, Same Person
  Edited by: Robert Waltz Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

This is a new year. A new beginning. And things will change.
         —Taylor Swift

Rather than turning the page, it's much easier to just throw the book away.
         —Anthony Liccione

You can initiate a phase of death and rebirth at any time. You don't have to sit idle and wait for an outside force to make that happen for you. Choose to end things. This will always spark an opportunity for a new beginning.
         —Robin S. Baker


Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

This newsletter is scheduled for January 3, and you know what that means: That's right, it's time for me to pretend I'm not laughing at you for already failing at your New Year's resolutions.

Thing is, though, I'm not. Laughing, that is. I'm not one for resolutions, myself, but I have some experience with trying to improve myself, and failing.

I'm just not convinced that a resolution is the way to go about it. You think you want something—to add something to or subtract something from your life—so you set an arbitrary date to make the change.

Say, for example, you decide to, I don't know, stop eating cheeseburgers. Why you'd want to stop eating cheeseburgers, one of nature's most perfect foods, is beyond me, but I wanted to choose something relatively inoffensive.

So, say, in August of some year, you tell yourself to quit eating cheeseburgers... on December 31. Meanwhile, you spend the rest of the year munching on delicious warm sandwiches (maybe philosophizing to yourself and anyone who will listen about whether a cheeseburger is technically a sandwich), enjoying every last bite, while counting down the days.

Thing is, if you really wanted to quit eating cheeseburgers, you'd just do it. Right then, right there, no waffling, no deadline-setting. You have already eaten your last cheeseburger, and that's that.

Clearly, you don't actually want to stop eating cheeseburgers. What do you want? Well, answer that one honestly, and you might have some success.

No, I say, save your New Year's resolutions for things that you think you actually have a chance of accomplishing. For example, resolve to make no further resolutions.

Over the past few years, I've had some success in doing certain things every day. Writing, for example. That one started in December of 2019, and continues to this day. Or doing language lessons; I started that one in August of that same year, meaning I've done nearly 1600 consecutive days of lessons, and I can now ask a French person where my pants are. Badly.

Will I fail at these things at some point? With absolute certainty, I will. I could get my arms bitten off by a shark. I don't swim anymore, but hey, it could happen. If nothing else, I'm over 97% certain that I'm not going to live forever.

Or, you could always use your resolutions for revenge. Still mad at your ex? Resolve to send them a glitter bomb. Remember that tool who stole your parking spot in 2006? Decide that now is the time to find them and let the air out of their tires.

If you fail at those, you've lost nothing. But if you succeed, how sweet it would be.


Editor's Picks

Some comedy to bring in 2024 with a smile:

Image Protector
Chaos Knows ~ Finalist Open in new Window. [18+]
Alexi resists her husband's advances without an explanation. A short and funny read.
by Nixie🦊 Author Icon


 What comes around... (2nd Place) Open in new Window. [E]
Alex was in a pickle. He knew the stuff was stolen but he didn't dare tell O'Banion.
by BScholl Author Icon


Image Protector
Olé Alofa! Open in new Window. [E]
The continuing adventure of Alofa Bread.
by Teargen Author Icon


Summer Olympics 2504 Open in new Window. [E]
A new event is unveiled...
by Red Writing Hood <3 Author Icon


 Lulu-Bell and the Texas State Fair Open in new Window. [13+]
The Texas State Fair may never be the same.
by cwiz Author Icon


 In the Beginning Open in new Window. [18+]
God has some regrets for daily flash fiction
by Hyperiongate Author Icon


 Boogie Knight Open in new Window. [E]
The story of boogie knight, the not-so-dirty limerick.
by Blank Page Author Icon

 
Submit an item for consideration in this newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Word from Writing.Com

Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
         https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form

Don't forget to support our sponsor!

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Amazon's Price: $ 12.99


Ask & Answer

Last time, in "Travel AdviceOpen in new Window., I dispensed some important wisdom concerning travel.

🌕 HuntersMoon Author Icon: First, thank you for noticing that I wrote something even though it was a hundred years ago. *Laugh*

Second, try asking "Where's the last place you ate that wasn't at home?" Just a thought...

Thanks for sharing. Hope your trip is more uneventful than the last!


         1. Sometimes I find an old item that I forgot I wrote, and I laugh at the wit and wisdom of the unknown, but obviously brilliant, author. I can only assume this happens to everyone else, too. 2. Hopefully not Chipotle. 3. Well, my car wasn't totaled by a rogue deer this time, so, yes.

Happy New Year, all! See you next time. Until then,

LAUGH ON!!!



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