 Comedy: December 20, 2023 Issue [#12322] |
This week: Frosty's Down! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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As a snowbird, Christmas is quite different in Florida. Christmastime is the only part of winter where I feel nostalgic about being in New England with all it's charm. But then After the holidays, snow and ice can be boring and dangerous too... |
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... So I'm here in Florida spending another Christmas without snow. The tree is decorated and sits in the Florida room facing the lake in all its glory. My feet are up on a coffee table and I’m watching the rippling water flow by. However, all of this life’s a beach or rather a lake, isn’t getting to the amusing part of this time of year.
One thing that seems to be popular here, more so than the icy, windy hills of Massachusetts just out of practical necessity, are those blow-up holiday lawn decorations. I must say, I’m not a fan of those gaudy decorations seen sitting on so many Florida lawns. Yes, they are very handy, easy to display once the stakes are in and the “balloon” is secure. Set it and forget it. Put the decorations on a timer and be done with it. So I can see it’s a favorite choice down here. My gripe? It’s just done to excess sometimes.
My “neighbor” across the lake (a man made pond, not quite a lake, definitely bigger than a puddle) really gets into all types of Christmas lights and decor. He decorates the front of his house, the part I don’t see, and the lakeside, the part I do see. I love that I get to see the beautiful lights at night. However, he decided to add a blow up Frosty to the back of the house. Frosty has been spotted over the years sporting his position in the front of that house which is on the street side. However, “Bob” purchased updated blow up holiday decorations for the front, and, we might as well face it, he literally tossed old Frosty to the back thus removing him from his prestigious spot on the front lawn facing the road for all to see. 
In time, I began to develop a soft spot for old Frosty after a week of looking at him. Although the view I had of him was of his backside. I guess the thought behind it was that his height made it look like he was peeking over a high hedge looking toward the road in front. More Frosty bang for the buck, I guess. He wouldn't want Frosty to feel abandoned by putting him in the back of the house without giving him a purpose. Make him feel his gazing over a bush gives him a presence that is important even though he's not the "star" anymore.   
All was fine until a few days ago when Frosty seemed to protest this injustice. I tend to agree. If you’re going to put Frosty in the back of the house, at least turn him toward the lake. Give the old balloon a view and letting me look at his bright red gift in “hands” a nice addition to the blow up creature. His face would be visible with the black coal eyes, carrot nose and button smile. I would have appreciated that. However, that fateful day came when Frosty was struggling to get up off the ground. Even after some cable securing, which gave him a temporary statue-like appearance, the next day he only stood half-way up. Not his best side I can tell you. There was a dark spot in the back. I can't tell you, this being family friendly what it looked like to me.
If you balloon lovers out there think it’s cool to look at a bent over Frosty with his rear end staring me in the face, that is so wrong! On the following day, Frosty couldn’t bend over easily with the breeze swaying him to a position where he actually stood on his head. Frosty's struggle is real, folks!
The next day, poor abandoned Frosty was rolling on the ground with a minimum of “oxygen” left in his body to help him up even half-way.  Now I’m thinking of calling someone to come to his aid.
911- “Hello, yes, my emergency isn’t about me, it’s about a dear friend across the lake. I believe a wellness check is in order. Oh, and please bring lots of ice! I think he’s melting.”
I smacked myself back to reality. Frosty is not real. He’s not suffering even though he’s lying on his back almost flat with the red present at his middle.
As of the day of this newsletter and all the trauma of watching Frosty’s despair, I looked over to where his body once lay. But he was no more. He might have been tossed into the recycle bin earlier in the day. Or, due to the brisk breezes, I may see him floating by on the current's ripples upon the lake. Either way … Rest in soft, plastic pieces my friend.
And that's a cold wrap to this month and year's Comedy Newsletter by me.
See you next year ...
Until then--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Until 11:59 p.m. WDC time, 12/24
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Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a wonderful, healthy and prosperous New Year!
Cheers to 2024!
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