Comedy: November 15, 2023 Issue [#12277]
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 This week: Morning Mantras and Other Useless Things
  Edited by: 🐕GeminiGem🎁 Author IconMail Icon
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  Open in new Window.

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Oh, look. Another glorious morning. It makes me sick!
~Bette Midler as Winifred Sanderson in the movie Hocus Pocus

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Hello! I am 🐕GeminiGem🎁, a regular editor of the Comedy Newsletter. Let's talk about getting it together to face the morning routine.


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Letter from the editor

Morning Mantras and Other Useless Things
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As I was commuting to work this morning, this random thing kept floating around my brain:

         I begin each morning with clean glasses and moisturized hands,
         in hopes the Universe will be kind to me today.


I'm not a poet, and my brain doesn't think like a poet. That's my brother Mark's job. Where was this coming from, then? I certainly wasn't feeling hopeful, despite the upbeat tone of this bit of brain-poetry. I was tired, uncaffeinated, and everything hurt from sleeping in some unapproved position. If you are young and have never gone to bed at night feeling okay and then woke up the next morning injured, just know your time is coming. You have been warned.

I am beginning to understand why elderly people are often portrayed as grumpy, crabby, or just unpleasant to be around. This understanding comes as I have entered my sixth decade and feel grumpy, crabby or don't want to be pleasant around people. We are living longer and longer, but our minds and bodies struggle to keep up.

In the haze of mild pain and fatigue this morning, that line of poetry kept floating around, keeping me from the delights of wallowing in misery. My brain had no business being that optimistic so early in the morning. The mental audacity!

Okay, okay, I suppose there could be comfort in routine or starting fresh each morning. There may even be some comfort in having a good attitude.

To that I say, "Hmphf."

There is more comfort in strong caffeine and a nice dose of ibuprofen.


Editor's Picks

 
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23 Cows Are Missing Open in new Window. (E)
Where can they be? They fled from the family!
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The Pain Of Thanksgiving Open in new Window. (13+)
You ever had one of those days?
#766818 by W.D.Wilcox Author IconMail Icon

 Screaming Witch Open in new Window. (ASR)
Leah, why was she screaming? Bridget investigate in this scene
#2295008 by SAD Holiday Potato Author IconMail Icon

 
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Overnight Snack Open in new Window. (E)
Quills Nominee and Finalist 2023 The Writer's Cramp 7/19/23 W/C 833
#2300064 by QueenNormaJean snow?forgetit.. Author IconMail Icon

 
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Stare-master Open in new Window. (E)
Balance in life; a purpose for exercising = coffee + unlimited donuts WITH sprinkles !
#1931881 by foxtale Author IconMail Icon


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FORUM
The Humorous Poetry Contest Open in new Window. (18+)
The contest where the rating doesn't matter! ~ Next TBA~
#1875093 by Lornda~Thoughts with Bikerider Author IconMail Icon

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# by Not Available.


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Pro Tip!
If you write something that has humor in it, make sure you use "comedy" as one of your genres. You might find your writing highlighted in a future Comedy Newsletter.

 
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
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Ask & Answer

Comments from my last Comedy Newsletter "Autocorrect Hates MeOpen in new Window.


From Vivian Author Icon
Oh, my, I never thought someone would be as affeccted by autocorrect as I am, but you beat me by far. I hate autocorrect. For every time it helps, it makes things worse ten times more, and often makes no sense.

From Elfin Dragon-finally published Author Icon
Yep, so over Autocorrect! Though I've found it happens more often if you're using the "speak" or "mic" aspect on your phone. For some reason it seems to hear what it wants to. LOL *Smile*


NEWSFEED FEEDBACK from "Autocorrect Hates MeOpen in new Window., where I posed this question:
What funny thing has autocorrect done to something you have typed?


Joy Author Icon

You hit a nerve with that question. Just a while ago, it changed drink to drought.
I think it is Ai creating havoc everywhere nowadays as the autocorrect that I could barely deal with, in MS Word, has sneaked in worse forms into just about everything. It even messes up my personal emails, messages, and even the chat in FB. Even after I look my note over and hit send, I find it has changed the wording. I hope someone can take note and make it like what we have here in WdC, where the zigzagging red lines show up under a word but do not correct it automatically.

Santeven Quokklaus Author Icon

I turned autocorret off a while ago. It was playing havoc with my fantasy stories. But when I went to a new phone earlier this year I forgot... and WdC became Wicca.

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