 Comedy: August 30, 2023 Issue [#12144] |
This week: Snippets, Fragments & Morsels --Oh My! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
More Newsletters By This Editor 
 
1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
Updates, Quirks and You Don't say! |
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As August winds down and the preparations for the upcoming WDC birthday festivities are underway, I can't help but reflect upon this ever-speeding away year.
Those who are familiar with my wit or grit or anything from smile to guffaw, know that most of my newsletters revolve around real life experiences. When those find their way into your email, you are visiting my life in your mind's eye. I'm so sorry about that, by the way, but it does indeed happen. 
Bill:
Many of you have been glued to your comedy newsletter when "The Ruby Chronicles" hit your inbox, month after month until I had my Ruby back home with me. I had the best and most patient mechanic, Bill, for her. Then, one day ... "Comedy Newsletter (May 16, 2018)"
You see, folks? My car broke my auto mechanic.  Ruby caused him to move out to the country amid trees and ponds.
Jay:
My handyman Jay is still in the hospital recuperating from brain surgery to remove 3 aneurysms. Yeah, he had been renovating my place in Florida. My house broke that guy, too. We talked on the phone and he told me he had been home but taken back to the hospital when he passed out while stitches were being removed from his skull. I don't blame him to be honest. 
He called because I told him there was to be a free trash, construction stuff and furniture pick-up coming that weekend. I had one of those WM "Bagsters" where all my old cabinet parts got tossed into, but before it could be emptied, Jake got a heart attack. I mentioned I contacted one of my pool room buddies to hire him and a few others to drag the bag to the curb--a requirement for it to be removed by the Waste Management pick-up.
Jake told me the doctors wanted to keep him hospitalized until they did the surgery on his heart issue. The doctor feared he'd trip and fall and cause more damage keeping him from getting that repair done. This would be open heart surgery, after surgery removing a vein from the thigh to replace the failing one around his heart.  I apologized to him for my residence breaking him.
Larry:
On Friday before the pick-up, my buddy texted and said the Bagster was moved to the curb. I was so relieved to hear that!  He also told me that there were weeds popping out around the unit. I thanked him and said I'd call my weed and garden guy to see if he will be getting to my area soon.
Ted
I texted Ted and told him there are weeds popping up. I feared the office manager would send a warning note about it. I hate not being considered a caring member of the community and always do my best to keep the premises looking neat and clean. I get a reply ...
"Hi WebWitch! I've been in the hospital."
OMG, Et tu Teddy? Did My weeds put you in the hospital. Is there any part of my house and yard that is safe for anyone besides the residing witch? 
"Oh, Ted, what happened?"
"I got some weird infection. My cheek and neck swelled up to the size of a baseball. I'm on heavy duty antibiotics, and back home and waiting to see if this takes care of the infection. The fear I have is it may be a tumor." 
In my best Arnold Schwarzenegger voice I replied -- well actually I replied with a gif of Arnold in Kindergarten Cop saying 'Ah dunnoht haff a tuma.' Ted laughed and said the not a tumor seems to be shrinking and he's take care of the weeds sometime the following week.
Face it folks, my weeds and plants broke him, too. 
It Takes Getting Used To:
Since the Cataract Chronicles got such rave responses and one even made its way into being nominated for the 2023 Quills, ( ) I decided to update all of you with great news.
My vision is so clear. I can't remember seeing this clearly since, I don't know. It's been that long.One little itsy, bitsy quirk about having perfect vision? Panic!
I've spent some time looking for my missing reading glasses. They were always everywhere I am, in the car, every purse, downstairs, upstairs, you name it, a pair of reading glasses were there. Then I have to think about the fact that I don't need them anymore.  Takes some getting used to!
It's true. Ever since I've recovered from the surgeries and no longer needed to worry about eye drops each night I have felt like something has been missing in my life. It's that nagging little voice in my head that says "something's not quite right." To this day, when I have finished answering email and text messages and doing some stuff on WDC, my hand automatically goes to my head to pull off my reading glasses. I was taken aback when my hands came back to me empty. I looked to the left, then to the right, but my reading glasses were nowhere nearby. Then I remembered that I didn't need them. I don't know how long it takes to grow into not needed something that has been with me for 20 years, but I'll sure be happy when these little moments of panic are erased.
It's clearly a wrap for this newsletter, folks! Enjoy the festivities in September.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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Cop Shop Mystery solving
And another peek at how to solve a Cop Shop Mystery
Some fun things going on around the site in celebration of WDC's 23rd Birthday! 
Annual Birthday Week event! It's free to play and lots of fun.
Fun, fun, fun!
Annual Masquerade Ball. Fun and games, laughter and mystery all in one activity!
Annual Cop Shop Mystery. Can You solve this mystery in exactly 23 sentences? Now that can be quite humorous! |
Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
Don't forget to support our sponsor!
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Annette 
Laundry room apps. 
They have started that here now too.
If the app would at least take the laundry out and fold it for me ...
 That would be worth the irritation of dealing with that laundry app!
Thanks for the feedback, Annette!
Joy 
So so funny! In a tragic way that is, and I can commiserate with you since I had to replace my washer and dryer a couple of weeks ago and another friend of mine is having problems with her toilet and leaks in her bathroom and laundry. I think, some dark forces are out there again in the universe, to give it to us the aged.
Also thank  you for including my item among the Editor's Picks. 
I guess the planets and stars are lined up in crazy way whereby negative forces are affecting our machinery and plumbing fixtures. Plus, keeping those who can fix the problem scarce. In my case, he's in the hospital awaiting another surgery. 
You're welcome for the highlight, Joy!
Thanks for your feedback!
See you next month, folks.
WW 
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