 Comedy: February 15, 2023 Issue [#11808] |
This week: Hey, Webbie, we saw a man on your roof! Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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| The day I became the most sought after person in the community ... |
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Hello, folks! Welcome to another edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
I don't know about you, but I've been having a difficult time finding handymen to do some work at my place in Florida. It seems there is a shortage of them or they are too busy working on other jobs that they never bother returning a call.
I've been asking around for a couple months for somebody who could fasten down my rain spout securely to the side of my tin can's roof-line since it fell off after Hurricane Ian cast its wide swath of heavy winds across the state. Nobody knew anybody available to do it.
Also, I had a couple spots that appeared in one of the rooms after the hurricane. The stains looked darker than water stains but stains nevertheless. I was told I'd probably need to replace my roof. Did you get that? Replace, not patch, or even tell me for sure where the leak originated.
Fast forward to the present. A friend of mine in our community knew of my woes and sent me a text. "Webbie, I think I found a handyman for you. He's working on a friend's home and they said he's doing a marvelous job with their renovations."
She gave me his name and number and who referenced him for the work I needed. I got in touch with Jay the handyman. He came over that day looked at the rain gutters and the roof and said he could fix both. He finished one job the next day and would take care of sealing the roof a couple days later. I was a happy witch to finally find someone who wanted the work, did a good job and did so at a fair price.
I talked to Jay about flooring because I hated the carpeting that came with the house. Probably ten years ago I could have got down on my knees and put one of those laminate floors in with WebLock's help. However, the years that arrive somewhere between middle age and fossilhood make such jobs painfully difficult. With two hip replacements and arthritis in my spine and all the other joints in my body makes my get up off the floor abilities, shall we say laughable?
Just a few weeks ago I started a project and was emptying the bottom of console table that had books to prepare it for another use and an object needing painting. I was on the floor removing the books and piling them alongside of me. Once done, I decided to get up and put the books in their new home. I tell you, my heart was really in it. My brain was in it. My body said "what the heck do you think you are doing?" It immediately went on strike. WL wasn't around so I began the crawl. Have you experienced that yet? Don't worry, your time will come. 
As I was saying, I started to crawl-drag my body to where I could get some leverage to pull myself up without further spine and hip injury. Then I thought of my youthful days of belly dancing and and yoga stretches. I was able to get onto my knees, then drop my hands to the floor so I was in a crawling position. I extended my arms, and pushed as I lifted one leg to balance on its toes, then the other and then I walked while still in deep stretch bend until the arch in the spine gave me the leverage needed to bend a knee and push upward. Yeah, do not attempt to try this at home without a magic broom.  Needless to say, after that experience I always know enough to keep a solid something for leverage to get back in an upright position.  However, I digress. Back to the handyman ...
The next day I went to the pool.
"WebWitch, we noticed a guy on your roof doing work. Who is he and does he do other jobs besides roofs?"
"That's my new handyman. He does carpentry, roofing, plumbing and electrical and he does floors, too!"
"We need him at our place, WebWitch. Does he have a card?"
"No, he doesn't carry cards anymore. He works through referrals from his satisfied customers. I tell you what. He's completing the roof job on Friday. Drive by, see if you like his work. Then I'll recommend you to him." 
That night at the clubhouse I was followed down the hall after leaving the ladies' room. and passing by the pool room. Four grown men called out to me and said they needed to talk to me about the guy on my roof. One wanted vapor lock work, another needed roofing, another wanted flooring and the other wanted price per hour charged since he had various jobs needing to be done.
I said he just charged me for job to be done which included materials needed and labor based on the area of the home he was working on. He charged me a fair price, and I don't need to buy a new roof.
"Webbie give us his number, please."
"Sorry, I'm keeping it undercover until he's finished what I need done. I wasn't born, yesterday, ya know."
They laughed of course but understood that once you find a dependable handyman you make darn sure your work is completed before you share him.
And that, folks, was the day I became the most sought after woman in the community.
And that's a roof-sealing wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
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| | A MANLY THING? (13+)
Yep, male vs female. How does the song go... "anything you can do, I can do better?"
#1531854 by DRSmith  |
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