 Comedy: September 28, 2022 Issue [#11573] |
This week: Consumer Woes Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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Paper tigers. Tigers have claws. You may need claws these days to get the paperwork done. |
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Paper Chase:
As we all know, the cost of everything has gone up. Okay, we have been watching the rise in our food, utilities, gas. Yup, being a consumer means being cautious and creative with your wallet’s contents. Take for instance size and packaging of some necessaries. If you think you are getting gypped on paper goods, you’d be correct.
I always check the deals on toilet paper and paper towels and buy the best bulk price. Never do I ever want to get caught short after the run on TP during the pandemic. Ever since then, I keep my storage closet full.
Okay, so after finding the best deal and receiving the huge boxes on my front porch, I place all the paper goods that aren’t individually wrapped in plastic in one of those huge Space-Bag types that can be vacuum sealed or just zipped shut with the little zipper-helper. I suggest using that option over vacuum sealing, as when it comes time to fill the vanity shelf with more TP, you’re not gonna want to pop the seal open –trust me on this.
Finally, you open a new roll and claw at the seams trying to unfurl the paper. Think you can do this without several sheets literally glued together all fraying apart in your fingernails? If you have the secret seam ripper that doesn’t seem to affect at least three sheets tagging along with the glue, please tell me. It happens at the end of the roll, too! They love their glue.
And, don’t think your paper towels escape the very same creative sealing so as to pull the seam for one of those select a size sheets only to find three paper towels joi ed in on the great pull. Of course you know why they do the gluing of sheets, right? No, it’s not to keep it from unrolling in transit, that’s what the paper wrapper over it, does. It’s not for some made-up health reason, since, well to be delicate, what use is the TP for, what does it touch and where’s it all going? You know the answers to that. As for paper towels, they are the mess clean-up wipes all over the kitchen or used to clean windows and other places of common use.
Nope, the reason is waste makes for running out faster thus needing to buy more and the paper kings of the world get more money. Also, the rolls have fewer sheets to begin with than they used to years ago. Not the same bang for the buck, is it? The rolls may look like the size you are used to, but look at the cardboard it’s wound around. Seems wider, doesn’t it? Takes up space to make the rolls look fuller. You might wonder if more cardboard costs them more just to try to fool us. Let me put that idea to rest. Cardboard on its own is cheaper to waste since the end user has no use for it, but they do have need for more paper goods when the roll is empty. It’s really all about the bottom line. So, don’t recycle your cardboard, you pay for it in the long run anyway, when you purchase those aforementioned items.
Keeping up with postage:
I needed to send a birthday card to my aunt. I had a birthday card ready, but forgot to buy stamps. I wanted to get the card in the mailbox with the flag up before our local, rural area mail carrier got to my street. I searched my miscellaneous junk drawer and lo and behold, there was a sheet of stamps. I needed a little glue to make it stick, but, fortunately for me I found them. I looked closely and saw they were not “Forever” stamps and were only 37 cents. I knew the price of stamps had gone up, but just didn’t know what it landed on in 2022 since I do most of my communications, bill paying and greetings online. I looked up the cost of a stamp these days. Another sticky, sticker shock. 60 cents! I placed 2, 37 cent stamps on the card and dropped it in the mailbox. I really hate overpaying anything Federal.
Moral of this tacky story. Be prepared for the way things change. Also, it's probably too late to jump into the Wall Street trading boom on stocks ... in the glue market.
That’s all she was stuck on for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time—laugh hard, laugh often!
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| | | KILLING TYME (E)
Waste not, want not... a comedic micro-fiction entry to an exact 200 w.c. challenge
#2280989 by DRSmith  |
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A real blast from the past!
More parody fun! Can you feel it?
  
Be there during Spooktober ... it's fun and free!
Can you "Handle" it? 
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Lilli 🧿 ☕ 
I live in S. Florida, so this was sooooo relatable! Give 'em hell, Webbie! Thanks for the laughs!
BIG BAD WOLF Feeling Thankful 
I follow a few youtube channels that have stories about bad HOAs. There's even a reddit thread called r/JustnoHOAs or something like that.
JCosmos 
hmm many years ago political scientists began to notice that HOA and Condo Boards and Business improvement districts were a de facto type of government, as they have limited taxing authority (HOA fees etc are a form of taxation, rules and regulations that they can enforce and in some states are very powerful, in other states not so much.
They came about in the 1920's as a way of controlling suburban development to ensure that suburbs would be white only. They also took over some governmental functions i.e. private road construction etc. Many had a do not rent or sell to blacks, Jews or other undesirables in their founding documents They are most common in the south and west not as common in big city urban neighborhoods. They were very big in Virginia and Maryland but not in DC itself. and not so much in Urban parts of California except for SF which has a lot of condos. they have evolved over time. Some states had to reign them in, for example, they can no longer ban homeowners from installing solar panels in Virginia. Interesting read thank you.
Thank you for all your comments about HOAs! You do understand where I'm coming from with those organizations! 
See you next month, folks!
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