 Comedy: May 04, 2022 Issue [#11342] |
This week: Say What? Part 2 Edited by: GeminiGem🐾  
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Say What? Part 2
I decided to expound on my last newsletter where I discussed funny things people say, either intentionally or unintentionally. I can do this, you see, because I signed up to write a whole slew of newsletters and they let me write these pretty much unsupervised. Now, I'm not saying that leaving me unsupervised isn't the wisest decision ever made on WdC, but I'm not NOT saying it, either.
In the last issue I wrote ("Comedy Newsletter (April 6, 2022)" ), I talked about my family. It was fun to reminisce about my mother-in-law and her infamous word choices with my family as I prepared to write the piece. As you will see below in the comment section, it triggered memories of similar sayings in other people's families as well. In this issue, I'm going to share some funny things people have said to me or my co-workers during my years on the job.
I have worked in health care for over a quarter of a century (I stopped counting after 25 years). People can be a little rough on health care workers, but they can also share humor. The trick is to know when it is okay to laugh. This is trickier than it sounds due to that whole "unintentionally funny" thing.
Here are some patient gems:
Me: "How was your trip to South America?"
Patient: "It was great! I had a fantastic experience until we were at an outdoor market, and the fruit started talking to me."
Me: "Did it? I bet that was off-putting."
Patient: "Yes, it was. The bananas seemed especially agitated."
This lady was dead serious, so despite the hilarious visual that popped into my head, I had to behave myself. I had so many questions, though. Has fruit ever talked to her before (or since)? Were they speaking in Spanish? What would the bananas be so upset about? Why were the veggies holding their peace? So. Many. Questions.
Co-worker: "We will need to reschedule your physical exam. It may be delayed by a few weeks."
Patient: "That's no problem. I'm in no hurry to come in and have the doctor tell me I'm too fat."
Patient: "I've had both COVID shots and the booster, too. In fact, I've had more shots at this point than my dog has had."
Co-worker: "We need to call someone to meet you at the hospital. Your emergency contact is...?"
Patient: "Dead."
Co-worker: "That probably won't work, then."
Co-worker: Offers the patient a medical power of attorney form to fill out. This is for the patient to indicate who can make medical decisions for the patient if something happens and the patient is unable to make the decisions themselves.
Patient: "No, I will not fill out that paperwork. Everyone is just trying to kill me off."
Me: "Do you have any new medication allergies we need to add to your chart?"
Patient: "Yes! I tried that medical marijuana and it did not agree with me."
Me: "What kind of reaction did you have to it?"
Patient: "It made me feel high."
See? People are funny everywhere you go. Did you hear something funny the last time you were at the doctor's office? Keep your ears peeled, you never know what interactions people will have while you are biding your time in the waiting room. You can use these small moments in your writing. Even if you aren't writing a comedy, a comedic moment is always appreciated in any genre.
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I ran out of daylight hours to find my editor's picks this month, but I will highlight members' writing next newsletter I edit. In the meantime, I leave you with this medical funny.
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FROM "Comedy Newsletter (April 6, 2022)" :
From Elfin Dragon-finally published 
I love unique ways of writing with language. And the ones you presented remind me of those often said by my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even myself. My father used to say, if stopped at a stop sign on a busy street, "someone left the barn door open". And if we forgot to close the door when we came in, "Were you raised in a barn?" He often threatened to, "hang us on the barn door." when we were bad. He was raised in the midwest.
I've often found myself saying things like, "...since I was knee-high to a grasshopper."
Yes! Love all of those, heard most of them during my growing-up years. Another favorite of mine is saying I've been doing something "since dirt was new."
From Sumojo 
My mum used to have some great ones.
She would look at the sky and say: “There’s a patch of blue. Just enough to make a man’s trousers.
Or if it was becoming cloudy or rainy she would say: It’s getting dark over Bill’s mothers’”
“You’re worth your weight in gold!” I always thought she said my waiting gold! Thinking there’s a pile of gold waiting for me, somewhere.
I love your mother's weather observations. They are so fun and quirky! I may have to adapt the one about the blue skies for my own use. I may not have a lot of chance to use it, though, we don't get a lot of cloudy days here in Colorado.
From BIG BAD WOLF is Howling 
Time will Tell, and We shall see - translation - asking grandma, or mom, if we could do something, but they don't want to make a promise that they might have to break. In short - they want to do what the kids want's to do, but can't promise anything.
If it was a snake, it would have bitten you - translation - the (object) that you spent so long looking for, was right in front of you the whole time.
Yep, classic stuff. In my world, we used a bear instead of a snake, but it was the same concept.
From Lilli 🧿 ☕ 
I've heard "busy as a cranberry merchant" before but in this version: Busier than a cranberry merchant in November. Was your MIL a New Englander? That's the only area I've heard it used.
My MIL was from Missouri, definitely not a New Englander. I doubt if she even visited New England in her lifetime. That may be why she got the saying so spectacularly incorrect.
From JCosmos 
I have been married to a non-native English speaker (Korean) for almost forty years we are always having fun with how we mangled each other's language - her English is better than mine of course. We speak 80 percent English, 15 percent Korean and 5 percent Spanish and other words picked up here and there. today she came up with worm of cans, and the other day making a mole hill out of a mountain.
Actually, making a molehill out of a mountain does have its applications, if you think about it. I like it! I may have to adopt that one, too.
From oldgreywolf on wheels 
From the Dictionary of American Regional English: larruping adj
Pronc-spp larapen, larepin, lar(ri)pin; for addit varr see quots
1 also tad-larruping; Esp of food: delicious, excellent; hence adv larruping extremely—usu in comb larruping good.
[larrup v 1, by analogy with whopping, thumping; cf EDD larruping (2) (at larrup v. 1)]
esp West Midland, Texas, Oklahoma See Map
Cf lamming
Okay, then, my MIL didn't make the word up after all, but her usage was her own, as per usual. It is still a favorite term to use in our household. Thanks for the vocab update! |
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