 Comedy: January 26, 2022 Issue [#11181] |
This week: Password Emergency! Edited by: Lornda  
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"Treat your password like your toothbrush. Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months. "
~Clifford Stoll American Astronomer
"Passwords are like underwear: you don’t let people see it, you should change it very often, and you shouldn’t share it with strangers."
~ Chris Pirillo American Entrepreneur
These days, all my passwords are protected by Amnesia.
~ Printed on a quadrillion mugs, t-shirts, and stationary.
 Learn how passwords seem to be taking over the world! |
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Have you changed your seventy-eight passwords recently? According to the Better Business Bureau, it should be reset every thirty days. I know what I’ll be doing later. It’s going to take me a month to change them all and another month to think of new ones. Other experts have pointed out that as long as the password is unique, you’ll probably be okay. Probably?
The other day, I was forced to create an account for a clothing store. After the fifty-two clicks of information, I filled the box with a password and wrote it down. It promptly told me it wasn’t strong enough or the character count was too short. I needed a capital letter and a symbol to round it all out. After many attempts, I finally had one it accepted. I now had to type it again to confirm. The mess of scribbles on the paper looked like a four-year-old’s drawing of their dad.
I would normally stick with my special stand-by password of: 12345678, but I came to find out it’s not a good idea because 103 million people use the same one and it can be hacked in one second. When I finally signed into the clothing store, I thought about how much security mumbo jumbo it took to set-up an account. At my bank, a two-year-old could create an account in four seconds.
After this fiasco, I wondered how they think we can remember all the passwords. If you follow what the experts suggest, you shouldn’t write any of them down. The solution can be found in a little story about one elderly family member with a thick German accent who phoned late one night with a serious dilemma.
“Hello.”
No hello back.
“I forgot my passport.”
“Your passport? Where did you leave it last?”
“I wrote it on a piece of paper?”
Silence.
“Are you talking about your computer password?
“Yes, my passport. You fixed it on Wednesday.”
“It was your last name and a number. I can’t remember. You wrote it down. Where’s the piece of paper?”
“I put it in the desk drawer and now it’s gone. You should know it.”
Silence.
I now have seventy-nine passwords to change.
The moral of this story is to not worry about losing a password and to make it someone else’s problem. If I can’t log on into the clothing store account, I’ll just phone him up and tell him I lost my passport. Do you know what he’ll say, “You should write it down and hide it in a desk. Would you like to come over for Potato Salad?”
The experts have a million pieces of advice to keep your password safe. To have the strongest, it should be twelve to fifteen characters long or longer to keep the hackers away. A longer phrase is even better than a word. Each site should have its own different password. Don’t share it with anyone and remember to log off. I think the suggestion to have phrases might help in remembering the seventy-nine passwords. Here are some I've reset already:
HideThePasswordInaDesk
ComeOverforPotatoSalad
PassportIsAnotherWordforPassword
… and for the clothing store, something unique.
DoYouRequireABloodSample,too?
I only have seventy-five to go. It’s going to be a busy year!
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| | | The Computer [18+] #2082118
Third Place Winner: Weekly Metered Poetry Contest Jan 9, 2017 - Limerick
by Dee  |
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 What’s your experience with passwords, and how many times do you reset it?
 Feedback from my last newsletter, "Writing Goals - Here We Go Again!" , to answer the question: What goals do you hope to accomplish in 2022? Do you write a list or take it one day at a time?
eyestar~*  : Oh my gosh! This edition has great suggestions and clearly expressed. I loved how you used a lot of quotes as wisdom is expansive and appealing to me. Your dropnotes at the end really add your flair. I did not even see that new WDC heading...now I will use it too. Adding humour to the serious topic of goals is so relevant too. We should not take ourselves too seriously.... just be inspired and do one step at a time. Thanks for your New Year's guidance!
You're welcome, and thanks for the comment! I had fun finding the quotes, and I agree, it's a good thing if you can laugh at your goals ... Um, ...   Have a great year of writing!
 Comments from the Newsfeed. Thanks!
bryanmchunter : To get 2,000 chapters added to Toddlerhood Interactive by the end of the year. Right now it's up to 1,310. I will gladly reward those who add new chapters to it with GPs.
s : My writing goal is simple - 2 more books sold to the indy/small/medium publishers out there. I have around 15 that I think are really good and another 15 that are certainly quite readable, so I hope to find a home for some of them.(Please, I know people mean well, but stop trying to sell me on the "joys" of self-publishing. I will not do it.)
graybabe : I have no writing goals at the moment.
Fathertymme, "Cold Durry Days" : It is logical you ask that question now. I just did a blog post on that subject. but as for writing here I will continue with the blog I write, hopefully with more reliability. I want to read more blogs of others. If I do, I may find out how Normal am I.
JayNaNoOhNo  : Write list
Misplace list
Rewrite list
Misplace list
Repeat
John & James Wegner : We hope to get our novel published and get a career in writing. We have an idea of what we want to do, but we're flexible about it. Good post. \m/ Forge on! \m/.
Ida_C : My goal for 2022 is to be more active with my writing and figure out exactly what it is I want to share with the world.
tj-turkey-jobble-jobble-hard-J  : The question is goals to accomplish and it's under comedy... What are you trying to say? Anyway, yes I do have some goals, one is to be more active here in WDC and another is to take off some of these excess pounds; not New Years' resolutions, just goals I'm working towards. As for making lists, not really, I just take each day as it comes.
elephantsealer : I for one would take it one day at a time. Why? When one writes, there are feelings that are bared; and I would not like to over exert any emotion that may cause my writing to go bad. Nonetheless, I shall exert a lot of effort, sweats, tears, laughter in order to write more in the year 2022!!!!!
joemjackson : My goal is to fight Historical Revisionism, Critical Race Theory, AntiSemitism and the 1619 Project.
Toasted Bagel  : Hoping to involve writing more into my day-to-day life .
TheBusmanPoet : "I've always taken it one day at a time. You can plan for future events but you must live within the moment."
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