 Comedy: November 10, 2021 Issue [#11063] |
This week: Leaf Me Alone Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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Autumn is grey rainy afternoons, and fond memories of raking up leaves into tidy neat piles, just to jump in a spread them around again.
—Jason Soroski
I wrote an essay about leaf blowers and the evil they do.
—Julie Newmar |
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Autumn is in full swing here in central Virginia. We've had our first freeze (albeit a brief one in some forsaken early morning hour), holiday decorations are up everywhere (to be fair, those started in approximately March), and while most of the leaves are still green, the ones that aren't have commenced the activity that gives the season its American name: Fall.
I like to sit out on my deck to write. I live in a part of a city that has a kind of suburban feel, with many neighbors in shouting distance, and during the summer I'm treated to one of the great annoyances of life: lawnmowing.
It wouldn't be quite so bad if they'd pick a time to do it. But no. One neighbor mows their lawn. And then, just after the blessed relief of the mower's cessation, another one starts up. Then, when that one's done, it's time for the next. All day, every day, except when it's raining, in which case I'm not out on the deck, am I? It's not like they all use the same lawn service, either; most of them are out there by themselves, shirtless, pushing a two-cycle gas engine with spinning blades. A loud two-cycle engine.
Fall so far has been relatively mild, but I thought at least I'd start to get some quiet around here. But no... no, I don't get that lucky. In the fall, the neighbors all trade their lawnmowers for that diabolic destroyer of suburban peace, the leafblower.
And they keep to the same schedule. I'll hear one going off behind the house, and when that stops, the next-door neighbor will start up, and after that, the one diagonally across the street, and then the one a few doors down.
When all the leaves are finally cleared into little piles on the street (the city eventually comes with a giant vacuum truck to suck them up into oblivion, another source of noise), it'll be time for snowblower season.
I think there's about a twenty-minute window in early March when there's no snow or leaves or grass, and the neighborhood is finally silent.
Me? I just had my deck rebuilt, so I've been conscientious about clearing it of leaves. This time of year, though, by the time I sweep (using a nice, quiet broom) the last bit of tree detritus off the deck, I turn around and there's a three-inch carpet of new fallen leaves on the first half.
So, I give up. This week, I bought a leaf- and snow-blower. I'll try to only use it when none of the neighbors are using theirs.
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. |
Some fall funnies. Or, you know, spring funnies if you're in the wrong hemisphere:
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Last time, in "October Funnies" , I shared a bunch of (arguably) funny October-themed images.
Quick-Quill  : I was just watching The Movies that Made Us Horror. What used to scare me made me laugh. I love the Geico commercial with the kids coming out if the corn field and one says “let’s get into the running car.” The next girl says “No, hid in the garage behind the chainsaws.” I laugh every time I watch it
Yep, humor can take the edge off horror. That's not always what you want, but I think the two genres are more closely linked than most people want to know.
And that's it for me for November! See you next month. Until then,
LAUGH ON!!!
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