 Comedy: September 01, 2021 Issue [#10959] |
This week: SARS - Some Assembly Required, Silly Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥmas  
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Happy September, everyone, and, Happy 21st birthday WDC! What an amazing place The StoryMaster & The StoryMistress created for us to enjoy and thrive in our mutual love for writing. Many exciting things are going on all over WDC. Enjoy them, participate in as many fun activities and contests as possible. It is the premiere month of the year on WDC.
It's also 13 years as a Comedy Newsletter Editor! Never missed one issue in 13 years. I love 13 ... but you already knew that right? 
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I was talking to Web-Son the other day. He often shares some kooky moments as a supervisor at Staples. These hilarious times usually occur during the back to school rush. Back to school time seems to start practically right after students actually get out of school for the summer break. It’s almost like Christmas sales beginning right as the Halloween section of the stores start shrinking within the week of Halloween. Nothing like running in for last minute treats or costume to find you are already walking around holiday decorations to get to those items. However, I digress!
The story goes … A guy bought a desk. The desk is unassembled so the customer asked if it could be assembled for the fee they charge to assemble chairs. The assembly fee only applies for chairs not desks, but the salesperson in the office furniture section thought one of the chair assembler guys could assemble the desk for the price of assembly-fee, The customer said he’d be back in a couple days to pick it up.
The assembly guy told the salesperson they don’t assemble desks, only chairs. However, since she already charged the customer the fee for assembly, the guy said he’d do it.
A couple days later the customer calls to ask if the desk was assembled. He was told it was. Then, he asked when they could deliver the desk to him. He was told they don’t do delivery at the store, he has to pick up the desk on his own. The guy says he’ll be there the next day for the desk.
A series of weird events took place after that.
Next day, customer shows up. Looks at the fully assembled desk and says, “That won’t fit in my car. We’ll have to lay it on the roof” Salesperson: "That's why we don't state that we will assemble larger pieces of furniture — it doesn't fit in most customer's vehicles."
The salesperson/assembler of the desk, brought it to the guy’s attention that there was torrential rain going on out there and perhaps he should come back another day to prevent the wood from getting soaked. The customer agreed and said he’d be back the next day.
Next day, customer shows-up and with the help of a couple workers and the guy who assembled the desk they hoisted the desk, flat side down on top of the roof. With the desk well-placed there, the salesperson asked for rope to tie it down.
You guessed it — the customer brought no rope or bungee cords to tie down the desk.
Customer: "That’s okay, I’ll go into the store and buy some rope!"
However, Staples doesn’t sell rope or bungee cords, although a couple stores near that Staples do sell them. Now the guy is getting desperate. He says, “Okay, I’ll be right back with something to tie-down the desk. I’ll just beep my horn outside this pick-up area, and you can help me tie it down.”
The salesperson goes back to his department, figuring the guy will leave his car there and walk over to one of the stores close-by with rope and or bungee cords available. A couple minutes later he hears the horn blasting outside the pick-up area. He figured it would have been impossible to get the rope that fast, walking a few stores down, finding what he needed, checking-out there and returning back to Staples. But, no, it was the customer grinning ear to ear, holding a tank-top and a pair of pants stating that they can tie the desk down. 
Without going into further detail, picture this:
Some bare-chested, pant-less dude, barreling down the busy corridor of Route 2 in Massachusetts with nothing but a tank top and a pair of pants holding down the huge desk on the roof of his car.
That’s all she delivered for this 21st WDC Birthday edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time, Enjoy the festivities, and don’t forget to — laugh hard, laugh often!
Ssssh! Check below in comment section for a top secret chance to receive an MB for just reading this Newsletter during the busiest month at WDC. 
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Added WDC Birthday Fun!
Tongue twisting fun and 100k GPs up for grabs!
Always something brewing in Bardstown! Can you solve a mystery in 21 sentences exactly? Bound to yield tons of laughs.
Fun and games and prizes! It only lasts one week -- the Official Birthday Week. And it's free!
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 There is an MB up for grabs to the first 13 people who comment here about trouble assembling items or anything to do with experience in sales -- or any Newsletter Anniversary, or birthday-wishes for a witch who has been doing this Newsletter for 13 years! Responses for this offer have to be made by September 13th.
Enjoy all the festivities offered throughout September, folks!
See you at the end of the month. 
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