 Comedy: May 19, 2021 Issue [#10777] |
This week: The Trials of Humorous Non-Fiction Edited by: Lornda  
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"My life is just a series of awkward moments — separated by snacks." ~ Anonymous
"If at first you don't succeed then, skydiving isn't for you." ~ Steven Wright - American Stand-up Comedian
"Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the Titanic who waved off the dessert cart." ~ Erma Bombeck - American Humorist
 Sometimes writing humor about the real life can be dramatic.
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When I flew into the WdC scene, my main objective was to write funny stories about my family. Initially, I had no idea how to write. I figured if Erma Bombeck
| American humorist. From 1965 to 1996 |
The first couple of stories I wrote sent reviewers running for the hills – not just once but they fainted many times while running there. What seemed to be the problem? I was telling the story like my family sat in front me at a gathering. Writing humorous non-fiction has to transpire differently on paper.
Where do you think I learned how to write it effectively? Right here at WdC. With reviewers giving me the right feedback, I scrapped every story and started again. I refined the wording, learned where to insert the humor at the right moment, and most of all, make people laugh.
Did every humorous non-fiction story I write make people laugh? No, and in fact, a real life story can backfire on you. One of the first stories I refined to death, received some rather shocking feedback — many times.
It entailed a story about my mother, which we tell to this day. It involves one of those photo albums with the twisted gold spine and thick black pages. She decided to do her family history by attaching the picture with gold photo corners and then, writing a line or two about the person. After she had it done, she packed it away and found it again one rainy day. With her tea in hand, she glanced at all the pages, reading the little blurbs about her Aunt, and when she got to the last page, she said to herself, "Oh, I didn’t know that about her." I sure hope you laugh at it because the punchline is — my mother was the one who wrote it. The problem for reviewers was, apparently, they felt bad that my mother had Alzheimer’s disease. Um … oops. No, she didn’t. The good news is, the story is still in my portfolio — somewhere — but it had to be refined once again.
I’m happy to say, I’ve been inspired by the real life to incorporate the funny family stuff into my fiction stories. Like my two cats from years back, are at a bar and the one is trying to win over his Dancing Queen. There are a few poems inspired by a pet rat, and a couple more inspired by my mother and her twenty-two cats.
So, I’m not going to make my millions like Erma Bombeck, but I should really stick to writing the real life stories. Now, I just have to remember them all … no, I don’t have Alzheimer’s.
 A Trinket can be found inside the above story about my mother and her photo album. You just have to go find it!
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 Fun stories about the real life or used as inspiration to write fiction!
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 A million dollars is the prize for a humorous non-fiction story. What are you going to write about to win?
In my last newsletter, "Food for Fodder" , I asked the question: Have you had any food disasters that made you laugh? What’s your favorite food?
Quick-Quill: Mommie-O-surprise. We had a smoked ham for Christmas (30 years ago). I couldn't figure out what to do with the leftovers. I have a great recipe I make with hamburger and figured I'd just substitute the hamburger for ground ham. Nope, it didn't work. Tasted bad. It made great dog food. From that time on it's become a family joke. "Well, you can always make mommie-o-surprise." ha ha.
 Good one! I've actually 'been there' a few times myself. 
dogpack saving 4premium: My sister cooked the Thanksgiving turkey one year. My father cut the meat pondering why the breast was so small. It turned out that she had inadvertently put the turkey into the oven upside down. We had the moistest turkey ever for that thanksgiving.
Wow, great cooking tip!
 From the Newsfeed:
Sum1's In Schaumburg: No real food disasters for me. But favorite food... You mean I have to choose just one thing? Or one type... Seafood, I've been on a see-food diet for a while. Seriously though, I love good Cajun cooking, especially a good Gumbo, Etouffee, Andouille Sausage, or Boudin. I was in Lafayette, Louisiana to deliver a class once, and my students found out I love Cajun food. A couple of them were sure I wouldn't like Boudin, even though I said I did. One day, they brought in some from a local store, and man were they excellent! This might sound almost sacrilegious since I love good food so much, but some of the best Gumbo I've had, I made myself... No, I'm not a fantastic cook, but on that trip to Lafayette, one of my students mentioned a canned product that was pretty good. I ended up buying some, and he is right! If you like a good Gumbo, look up Blue Runner Foods, and order some, or if you live in the south, the deep south, ( Nixie🦊  lives in South Florida, I know you can find it there), get some at your local grocer. When I've made the Shrimp Gumbo, I've heated a can (or two) of their seafood Gumbo stock in a pot, added Shrimp, and cooked a pot of rice. Took it to a company picnic, and it was the first thing gone. It was almost as popular as my not-so 'world famous' homemade Teriyaki. Yes homemade, a recipe given to me 40 years ago. so yeah, seafood in general, but anything that is good, especially homemade....
wdwilcox: "Try The Uni" [13+]
Dragonfly:Ah this brought back a good memory.
A million years ago, I had decided to make cream of spinach soup for my 6 year old (he was really good about trying new foods). He sat by me as I described what I was doing. Cooked the spinach, drained it and put it in the blender with a little liquid, put on the blender lid and hit the start button. Unfortunately, I did not hold down the lid and it shot up like a rocket spewing spinach everywhere. Both my son and I stood there covered in green slimy spinach, both in shock. We looked at each other and burst out laughing! My son said, "Do it again Mamma!"
For a favorite food, I'd have to say my Mom's sweet meat empanadas.
Olivia: it's NaNo-Time
34238: Oh yeah, Tsatsiki-Gate! 
It was 2009, I think. I was visiting my parents during the semester break in their vacation house in Spain, which my Dad had bought after his retirement. Mom loved eating Tsatsiki, and always wanted me to try. But I just don't like yoghurt and mixed with olive oil...
One day I couldn't refuse anymore, because it was her birthday. Well, okay. I had choked down tons of sauerkraut as a kid ("11. Sauerkrautsuppe" ) without pulling a face, what was a mouthful of tsatsiki against that?
So I did... and gagged on it.
"Don't make such a fuss!" Mom rolled her eyes.
"Is that supposed to taste sweet?" I choked.
"What are you talking about? Tsatsiki isn't sweet!" She took a mouthful... and spat it into the sink. "Bah! What the...!?" 
We checked the ingredient list and the tsatsiki had indeed be sugared. Spanish are such food perverts sometimes!*Vomit* (They love it sweet.  )
Well, a greek restaurant owner and friend from my study years, Vassili, once prepped real tsatsiki for me, and since then I'm eating it every now and then. It's really yummy on pita and gyros 
Wandering Thoughts: I was in cooking class 35 years ago approximately. I thought that the recipe was awesome for a pizza. Made the dough from scratch. It came out perfectly! But there was an issue with the crust... I mistakenly replaced baking powder with baking soda. We all got sick and threw up.
Lynn Nichole: One time I had some apple sauce for a snack, but instead of putting cinnamon on it, I used chili powder. I didn't realize my mistake until I put a spoonfull in my mouth and coughed on it! XD
JCosmos: back in 1989 I had a thanksgiving dinner at my house in Seoul when I was teaching for Kyunghee University. I invited my best Korean friends for dinner. My fellow American teacher told me that he knew how to cook a turkey. He lied. First time for him, my wife and me to make a traditional Thanksgiving turkey. We made the mistake of cooking the giblet inside the bird. When it came out we told our Korean guests that it was a traditional American "stamina" food. They ate it up in minutes as Korean men are obsessed with so-called "stamina" foods.
Anna Marie Carlson: Yes, I have and still do. It's a good day when I can eat something without dribbling on myself. It's embarrassing; I wish that I knew the trick to not getting food all over myself. I do laugh at myself, but other people seem to take that too seriously.
TheBusmanPoet : I've had so many over the years, I lost count. My favorite food is seafood.
Bob : I've eaten barbeque from California to South Carolina and even Kentucky, but Texas Barbeque is the best.
Matt 2021 Dean: Had to eat with a spachula because there were no forks or spoons. Bibs are for adults,too. Next time I know better.
Anna Marie Carlson : Eating Spaghetti and getting it all over my face and clothes. Sometimes I think that the messier the food, the better it tastes.
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