Comedy: March 24, 2021 Issue [#10684]
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 This week: Snappy Beginnings
  Edited by: Lornda Author IconMail Icon
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Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

This week's Comedy Editor:
Lornda Author Icon


"I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading contest. I hit a bookmark."
~Stephen Wright ~American Stand-up Comedian


"A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author."
~Gilbert K. Chesterton ~Writer


"Reading one book is like eating one potato chip."
~Diane Duane ~American Author


*Pencil* Writing a snappy beginning is an effective way to hook a reader.




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Letter from the editor

         First impressions are important to make sure a reader continues further into the story. To make this happen the beginning has to hook the reader to keep them interested. If the hook is bland and flat, the reader will run for the hills and find another story to read. To accomplish a strong opening can sometimes be a challenge, so what can you do to write a snappy beginning? There are different ways to start a story to grab the reader’s attention. Here are some suggestions:

*Bullet* Introduce the main character
*Bullet* Open with conflict
*Bullet* Use memories
*Bullet* Use excitement or action
*Bullet* Begin with a mystery
*Bullet* There’s one more way that is effective:
*Pointright* write the beginning with humor, especially, the first line. *Pointleft*


         To help curb your frustration to write a snappy beginning, check out the opening lines or first paragraphs in other novels or stories. Here are some first lines to inspire you:

“I don’t know how other men feel about their wives walking out on them, but I helped mine pack.”
~Breaking Up by William H. Manville

“For the better part of my childhood, my professional aspirations were simple. I wanted to be an intergalactic princess.”
~Seven Up by Janet Evanovich

“As a boy, I wanted to be a train."
~Machine Man by Max Barry

"The morning after noted child prodigy Colin Singleton graduated from high school and got dumped for the 19th time by a girl named Katherine, he took a bath. Colin had always preferred baths."
~An Abundance of Katherines by John Green

"Every summer Lin Kong returned to Goose Village to divorce his wife, Shuyu."
~ Waiting by Ha Jin

“This is my favorite book in all the world, though I have never read it.”
~The Princess Bride by William Goldman

"We’re going to tell you about three of the children in Mrs. Jewls’s class, on the thirtieth story of Wayside School. But before we get to them, there is something you ought to know. Wayside School was accidentally built sideways. It was supposed to be only one story high, with thirty classrooms all in a row. Instead, it is thirty stories high, with one classroom on each story. The builder said he was very sorry."
~Sideways Stories From Wayside School by Louis Sachar


         For your next story, give humor a try to hook the readers in to keep them turning the pages. Don’t forget to take advantage of the description that WdC has to offer. Writing a snappy description with humor can draw a reader in, too!

         I'll leave you with one more opening line that made me laugh. It's short and funny!


"I write this sitting in the kitchen sink."
~I Capture The Castle by Dodie Smith


A sig for the best genre in the world--Comedy!



Editor's Picks

*Books3* Check out these stories and their snappy beginnings:

 Something Like a Countdown Open in new Window. [18+]
Just how far under the radar can love really fly?
by Turkey DrumStik Author Icon

Snappy Beginning: Kids today won’t understand the desire to twist a phone cord if you can’t strangle the person on the other end of the line. After taking 20 some odd calls explaining to people how to copy and paste passwords, I am so over humanity.


 Mabel And The Mob Open in new Window. [13+]
Mabel ends up with the mob's money
by W.D.Wilcox Author Icon

Snappy Beginning: “There must be at least fifty thousand dollars in here”, Anton said aloud, peering into the thick canvas bag. “Now I can get that sex-change operation I wanted.”


 More From The Land Of Ons Open in new Window. [E]
More about the people inhabiting the Land Of Ons, especially best friends Larry and Jerry
by Sum1's Home Author Icon

Snappy Beginning: In the land of Ons are many creatures. Some are Less-Ons because they have not been fully educated. Some are Mor-ons, they’ve been fully, and properly educated. This education takes time of course. And not too surprisingly, some take longer to become Mor-Ons than others.


 Grandma Hears a Joke Open in new Window. [E]
Grandma eavesdrops with comical consequences.
by Bikerider Author Icon

Snappy Beginning: Eavesdropping on the conversation, grandma listened to the naughty joke and tried not to laugh when she heard the punch line. She held her breath, suppressing a laugh, and when her laughter erupted…so did her teeth. In a gust of breath, her denture flew from her mouth in a perfect arc--right into the punch bowl.


 
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VANITY VARMINTS Open in new Window. [E]
a critter-cally acclaimed flash fable where vanity refuses to yield to reality
by DRSmith Author Icon

Snappy Beginning: They all had one glaring flaw in common─ dreadful buckteeth. Yet they were not to be dismayed; each convinced they had what it took to win the photo shoot for the cover of Critter Magazine's Easter Edition.


Grand & Epic Adventures Open in new Window. [E]
A young boy writes himself an epic adventure...which starts to come true!
by Elle - on hiatus Author Icon

A Snappy Beginning about a beginning. Lol!: Jayden refused to give up. He sat on his bed, staring intently at the blank piece of paper at the front of his brand-new journal and chewing on the end of his pencil. It’s hard to come up with the perfect first line for a new story when your sister is complaining to your parents that you won’t let her in your room, your mum is yelling at you to tidy your room and the dog is barking at the next-door neighbour’s cat.

Every really great story has to have the perfect first line. What should he choose? The classic ‘Once Upon A Time’ was a bit clichéd and Jayden wanted to be more original.



 Pinocchio Minus the Palaver Open in new Window. [ASR]
For the Once Upon a Parody Contest - your fave puppet revisited in exactly 600 words.
by THANKFUL SONALI Library Class! Author Icon

Snappy Beginning: Once upon a time, there was a block of wood.

Then, a wood-carver named Get-up-and-go carved it into a puppet. The block of wood hadn't wanted to be a puppet in the first place. It had wanted to be a mobile phone stand. That's where the money was. All blocks of wood dream of what they want to be when they grow up. These days, baby blocks of wood dream of being mobile phone stands or railings along the staircase of the Beverly Hills Hotel.



 Invalid Item Open in new Window. []

by A Guest Visitor

Snappy Beginning: Jason glared at the line. “I haven't had this much fun since I fed my brother to the pigs.”


 
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Ask & Answer

*Questionb* Do you have trouble writing the beginning to hook the reader? Do you have any favorite beginnings from stories you’ve written or read?

*Thought2* Feedback:

In my last newsletter, "The Procrastination Blame GameOpen in new Window. I asked the question: When is the best time for you to write, and what excuses have you encountered along the way?

TheBusmanPoet: Best time for me to write is when I have the time to. I have a real life I have to live. Help caring for the cats, my wife, house chores, my store. They are not excuses. My real life gets in the way which is a fact not an excuse.

jolanh: I'll agree with busman real life gets in the way. Okay I explained poorly. I have three kids in home schooling, and trying to get anything done during the day is like pulling teeth.

jdennis01jaj: The best time for me to write is in the morning when my wife is busy with her horses and not with finding me chores to do. Unfortunately, that is also the time I like to get on WDC and peruse the Newsfeed and Read and Review Stories. So, I always have a choice to make, and I'm an old retired man who has confronted all the choices in life that he wants to have. Besides, I don't need the stress, so I haven't completed a story in a couple of weeks.

Dragonfly: Best time for me is in the morning after I've taken my Gingko and Gaba (helps jump start my brain) oh and also a little ice coffee. I log onot the internet, check emails and then like jdennis, I go onto the WDC site and am absorbed into all the wonderful words. By the time I pull myself free (yet leave a tab open to see if any red markers pop up) half the morning is gone!! I have to pull myself away (except that tab that's open) and open my writing program. There's that excuse *Wink*
Heck, I'd probably have written thousands of words if I didn't connect to the internet!

bryanmchunter: When I'm not working.

Dr Gonzo: After a laxative.

elephantsealer: There are definitely a lot of excuses that comes up before I start a writing session. I am ashamed to say, it is all those mahjongs that I want to play and win!!!!!

DevilsBargin: Officer I can't write today because I have these things at the end of my fingers called...... now brace yourself. Nails.

Alright jokes over the real reason I can't write today is I have this old elbow injury. You see every time I reach for the keyboard my injury flares up. It's called lazy elbow. Ther it gose again.

Alright, for real this time no joke the reason I can't write today is because I have a strategy. You see I set this word limit everyday for myself. Now this is a true story people. I can totally make this up. You see, I write one word on my book every day and by my estatmation my book should be finished by my grand childrens, grand children's.

Anna Marie Carlson: I have no set schedule when it comes to writing. I write when the inspiration strikes me. I love to write and some of my writing excuses are not excuses. There are times when my hand gets tired from writing and I need to take a break from it for a while.

JCosmos: I write every morning between 7 and 9 in my dream journal, journal and poetry journal while watching CNN and drinking coffee waiting for my wife to get up. I don't dream dreams I dream movies and every morning I write something down that could later become a story, and every morning I write a couple of poems based on internet prompts. She is a night owl and I am a morning person. I enjoy my me time before I get busy with other things..... later in the day I work on editing, and submitting and reading my writing emails etc.



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