 Comedy: January 20, 2021 Issue [#10568] |
This week: Pranks Edited by: Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ  
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"Prank-- a trick that is intended to be funny but not to cause harm or damage"
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Hello folks! Happy 2021! Let's hope we will have some fun, before it's done! 
There is a side of comedy that is often overlooked, yet it's most likely we've all been apart of this jokester activity -- the dreaded prank! The prank is especially awakened on April first, a day reserved for "fools."
I must admit, I've had my share of being pranked, but seriously, as a person of comedy, I deserved each of those pranks since I am a notorious prankster, myself. 
Here are a few memorable moments that I've enjoyed along the way.
Bloody Beets!
One day up North, I was in the kitchen prepping veggies to go along with whatever the protein of for supper would be. I usually place paper towels down on work table while peeling beets, for the obvious reason -- beets juice gets everywhere. When I finished peeling and slicing them, I placed them in a bowl and then gathered up the juicy-red paper towels with the peelings inside and prepared to throw them into the garbage. As I looked down at all that red in my hands, I decided to put it good use before tossing them away. I went out to the living room where Web-Lock was deep into a movie he was watching, holding tightly to the bright red hand. He saw my hand, jumped up and asked me what happened. I told him I was cutting something with the Dexter Cleaver (yes it does exist and I own one) and it slipped. When I felt he was totally convinced I needed medical care, I showed him the beet peelings inside the paper towel. Thankfully, being a bit of a prankster himself, he burst out laughing and admitted I got him good.
You see, beets are versatile! 
My kids inherited the prank gene:
Years ago, when my son was born, my mother was staying with us to help out and to be with us for the holidays. The wonderful woman she was who hated to fly, traveled across the country to California where I lived at the time. She was there when my son was born because WebWitch doesn't do hospitals for birthing babies.
My son was several weeks old at the time when this happened.
One of my daughters wrapped up her life-like baby doll and knocked on my mother's door. My mom opened the door and withing seconds my daughter said I can't hold the baby any longer, and lets the doll fall from her arms before my mother could grab it, thinking it was her grandson.
I heard my girls laughing and went to see what was up. My mother had her hand over her heart trying to recover from the shock of a baby being dropped at her feet. By then, the joke was discovered and she burst out laughing, as well.
Ahhh, the holidays! Great time to pull a prank !
Although holiday celebrations were kept small this past Christmas, we nevertheless found you can have lots of fun with only a couple guests at the table.We exchanged a good meal, fun stories, lots of laughter and then it was time for dessert. I brought out the yule log and roasted chestnuts for the guests to enjoy. . I had a beautiful centerpiece of column candles.I went up to them and held my hand over the top.and was yelping in pain, and this sweet, elderly woman asks me what I was doing. I could hear the concern in her voice and she showed alarm in her eyes. I pulled my hand away and stated I was just fine. She sighed a breath of relief just as I picked up one one of the column candles and started tipping it over on her lovely sweater. She started to move away from the candle, then noticed she wasn't getting hot wax all over her outfit. I showed her the candle again as I touched the glowing "flame" saying they were fakes. Fake flame-like candles are very convincing! My other guest laughed along with her. She thought they were real because they are just that good at making these faux candles.
Not to be repetitive, but a few minutes later and just before leaving the table to head to the living room, the gentleman guest grabbed for another chestnut. I thought to myself, "why not?" I grabbed the candle and tipped it over on him. The same reaction came even though he had just seen the trick moments before. I know, bad, bad, WebWitch! 
Fun and Games at the Clubhouse:
Before we got our new park manager at my Southern Comfort home, we went through a few inept managers. The last one, a woman and her associate manager (who could never get the top position no matter how many managers got moved out) decided they would try their hands at decorating a couple rooms at the clubhouse. I mean seriously, fake plants in the pool room taking up space on the tables meant for players to sit at out of the way of other players whose turn it was. The flat top was great for holding the chalk and a score pad. The guys, and a couple of us ladies were tired of moving the plants out of our way --I mean it's a pool room for pity sake!
A couple of us decided to eliminate the problem. I grabbed the table top plants and put them into the ladies' room, where they would be more appreciated, and, it added a nice touch to the decor, plus it wasn't in the way of anything or anyone. I wondered if or when they'd be returned within the next few days. Nope! Nobody noticed they were not where originally placed.
With a successful decorating faux pas relocation under my belt, I had another hurdle to clear a couple months later. It seems the "managers" got another burst of the DIY urge in decorating spaces. They took a table and chairs out of the computer room. I guess they were pointless because a couple years prior, they removed the desktop computers and a printer for guests' use. It didn't matter much to me, because have lap top will travel, and, whole clubhouse is WIFI capable. I'd rather sit in the TV room on big comfy sofas rather than a tiny room, still called the "computer room" which had a new addition -- a hard, wooden banquette set, which was literally a pain in the buttocks.
Then, my favorite spot, the TV room had been design-molested by the kooky decorators . It was a well-balanced room, so long as another of their favorite plastic plants weren't set in front of the TV screen. This time they removed one of the two identical fabric covered benches that were placed under a large picture, each. Now, we look at the long wall and one picture has a bench under it and the other, nothing! And that didn't bother their vision of balance and beauty meant to show off the place when potential buyers were being shown around the place? It bothered me that it was missing. I couldn't find it in the main room, or the other many-purpose rooms. It was when I finally needed to go to the restroom that the mystery was solved. These ladies actually placed a fabric-covered bench in the ladies' room! Now my head just couldn't wrap around the idea of ladies coming in from the pool, seeing the bench available, and placing their wet tushes right on it! Did I mention it was fabric covered and stuffed with whatever filling they stuff in them. Think mold, mildew, fungus -- just a few icks to awaken your imagination.
That evening I proceeded to plan the Operation Bench Removal caper. With the help of a pool-playing friend, I checked the ladies' room to make sure it was empty and then moved the bench to where my friend kept the door open. Once we got it through the door, we brought down the hall and placed it back under the picture.
I was thrilled when it was still under the picture for several days. Then that day came when I entered the clubhouse and noticed the bare spot under the picture. Hmm, I thought, they moved it back. So, again that night, the grab and return the bench repeated. And each time after that, it made its way back. Finally, after the multiple moves, both the "managers" were in the ladies' room trying to play plumber by shutting off the water of one of the toilets having leaking issues. I innocently asked them why the bench keeps moving from one room to another, and did they want to leave a fabric covered bench where wet bathing suits could be in contact with it, to stay in the bathroom. The exasperated voices replied in unison, "Yes , please." Then the top manager blurts out, "I just don't understand why the furniture keeps moving around this place."
. .. "You know Paula, I was wondering the same thing myself! I'll be sure to keep my eyes open and let you know if I catch anyone moving the furniture."
"Thank you, WebWitch."
"Oh, you're very welcome. Always willing to do my part in the community." 
These are just a few pranks. There may be another Newsletter with additional pranks someday -- but, until then ...Laugh hard, laugh often!
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Although he's moved on from writing at this time, and recently married, this story shows that Web-Son has the humor/prank gene as well.
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My kids have shared many of the family traditions they've grown to love. Although, they had earlier on when celebrating Christmases as adults, opted for the faux fir trees. The cold hunt for a real tree was a tradition dropped out of the mix after their first few Christmases on their own. 
