Hi Ms. TerrifyingTuber

I'm sending this review in connection with "I Write in 2025" .


Positives

I really enjoyed the mythology you infused in this piece, and I think the simple structure of short, repeating rhyming lines in every stanza was an effective way to communicate so much narrative is so comparatively few words. Well done!


Suggestions

For me, some of the lines felt a little abrupt, which I think is probably due to the degree of difficulty you took on in both telling an "epic" mythological tale while also trying to restrict your presentation to only rhymed lines in triplets. I don't think there were any lines that just straight-up didn't work for me, but there were a handful where I thought the read was rather abrupt (e.g., "away he went / to find a tent / perhaps to rent", versus some of the more expansive lines).


Overall

Overall, I think you did a really good job with this piece considering the difficulty of the thing that you attempted. With a little fine-tuning, this could be a really exceptional piece, and a great example of storytelling in the style of the epic poem classics from the Greeks. Nice job!


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Respectfully,

Jeff
"Rating & Reviewing Philosophy" 



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .