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Review #4790069
Viewing a review of:
 Christmas Surprise Open in new Window. [E]
Noah and his surprise for Santa. - Writer's Cramp Entry
by LoneKrampuswolf Author Icon
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#4790069
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Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hallo!
I saw your entry to "The Writer's Cramp" Open in new Window. and got curious about what you'd done with the prompt!

Here's my review:
1. The title, brief description and genres work well. The layout is easy to read. Maybe you could think of adding a cover pic.
2. The last line of the first paragraph is a real hook for the reader to read on.
3. I love the hand sanitizer! What a cute touch! And Mrs. Claus being proud! *Smile*
4. While reading about his laughter I wondered how it didn't waken the household! *Shock*
5. The pickle sandwich made me smile!
6. You say he 'left' two notes before he 'left' the house - I found the word 'left' repeated and think maybe another word would work better. Also, if Santa's are called 'notes', would you like to call Noah's 'notes' as well?
7. I wasn't expecting the scene back at the North Pole, that was a nice touch.
8. The conclusion, that it was the warmth, creativity and care that really mattered, left me warm and fuzzy!

Thanks for sharing this one!
Write On,
Sonali

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