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 Review #4776217 |
 | Healing dream  [E] When you feel you met your half but got broken again in more than two pieces.  |
| (4.0)    HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY!!! from "Anniversary Reviews"  Celebrating your writing this month with a review. Happy Account Anniversary fote , I've been reading you in response to the note you have an WDC Account Anniversary here this month, you're sixth year. This poem "Healing dream" has a similar poetic format at work to a previous poem of yours I considered. And what I like about this piece that's even better is that it feels like walking into the middle of some conversation, but more like a monologue. To use the conjunctive "And" to start this piece feels like a reader needs to sit down, join in quick, listen and catch up. It brings immediacy to this piece and gets the ball rolling, even if this poem is just response to a nocturnal dream. The first line is also the type of coping mechanism that can work for the lonely. I felt a bit of positivity from that line, even though this can seem sad, it is driven by a dream that supposedly is healing. I've woken from dreams like this and can witness to the positive emotional energy that will come from one. Ultimately, you've chosen a 'listing' poem of sorts from 'soul' to 'happy home' to 'my unborn' 'imagination is gone'. Some of this are expectations and results. This ultimately coincides with realization, using birds as a strong metaphor to describe this knowing of the love missed who won't return. I've heard the expression 'amputated heart' and think it might be a song. To imagine a soul amputated in the way its offered would take some effort, and perhaps some metaphor building, for a reader to envision. This poem expresses quite well and knowingly for a reader. And then there is the choice of ellipses at the end of sentences that is another sort of caesura applied to give long, dramatic pauses. I imagine the speaker expelling breath after each thought, with a pause to consider, before uttering the next line. It's effective in showing emotion, growing realization, and an effective choice to put the reader in the room with this bedraggled voice. When I started out, I sensed the description line was going for an expression about your 'other half'. But with it not working out (ironically), breaking into more pieces, from that half self. That's fractal, division, some words that relate. There could be a poem about that. I did not find direct reference but the suggestion that this is the one the reader is to ponder about. I find the expressive approach to subjects described in this poem to be raw and powerful, and could use more attention to what connects a few of these dream ideals with additional poetic devices. Perhaps, it can connect further with what's offered in the poem's opening introduction. It's likely possible to develop a cohesiveness that can help give more power to your summation. It's when we get there that we want a takeaway that one will continue to think about long after reading. That's one way you can know a poem is good enough for a reader's consideration. The fact that I happened upon your account was because I saw another member from my group offered feedback in the review pages for something else you created. A pleasure to consume and lend response during your WDC Account Anniversary here this month. Sincerely, Brian WDC Account Anniversary and Angel Army Reviewer    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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