Review of The Sun Waits

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Review #4775714

Viewing a review of:

The Sun Waits

[E]
Time's Photograph
by ♥Ho Ho HOOves♥

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4775714

Review of The Sun Waits

Review by SantaBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

A poem about enjoying the sun.

WHAT I LIKED

Lots of intriguing word choices here. The one that I connected with the most was "radiant," as yes, the sun is radiant, but it's so much more. It gives us radiance. The sun's influence also effects the Earth's schumann frequency with lighting strikes and CMEs.

STRUCTURE

This is a Fibonacci style poem. The style became popular around 2006. Typically, a Fibonacci styled poem is a six-line poem with a syllable count of 1/1/2/3/5/8. Since then, variations have emerged, including poems with more lines, ascending and descending syllable counts, and even experimental forms that expand the Fibonacci sequence.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read. Good use of WDC ML to increase the font and make it easy on the eyes.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "sun kissed spirit never feared time's waiting glance" Succinct word choices are used here to paint a vivid a picture. I love the words "sun kissed spirit" - there's a lot of personal meaning here, especially for the individual reader. For me, the sun is a blessing, shining on my spirit, reminding me of all that is good in the world.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening intrigues the reader, and draws them in. The title is a good fit for the poem. The ending line offers juxtaposition, as the sun brings warmth, yet, reflected on water, or too much sun, and offer a burn, so it's best to mindful.