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 Review #4770386 |
 | Interlude  [E] Suspended twixt river and clouds... 🏆 First Place, Taboo Words (Form: End Rhyme)  |
| (4.5)| Dear 🌕 HuntersMoon I read this poem several times through, noting what harmony created and the sensory feeling of being in that boat, in a quiet drift. It does appease a reader to consume these words. But before I could consider too much, noting time elements at play, I thought I could make an argument for this as the opening stanza: "Time is suspended, as I drift. This quiet moment is a gift; a pause from all the cares of life with its noises and its strife." I was beginning to struggle with the notion of this being "a moment's interlude" without reference to something specific. But, this verse above (that comes just before the ending) frames the time element in a way that's reasonable, maybe. That feeling of how slow a day might seem to go in this type of serene enjoyment seems to play here. The suspension of time can make it seem like a 'brief interlude'. There are elements that show action, events in the opening verses that could fall in line behind a new open, could be introduced as the beginning of progression of time that stands still. I don't know if this works for the poet, but something I grabbed when trying to put interlude and a series of events in the context of one time element, if I'm reading this correctly. If I'm even arguing coherently, as I can tend to get turned around. I caught this poem on the read and review page and not given enough time if I want credit. I usually go too long, but give a better review, with more consideration for the item. Don't want to just glance and go, so I'll try to make this review last in the remaining moments until I properly affiliat and tag and send. I'll have to say, the opening does put me in the moment as soon as 'for and aft' because I've been in that boat settled in the water where I fish. Add the element of what feels like a perfect day, an element would be missing if it were me: waiting for a strike on my line. Perhaps, a little description that documents with a word or two to help a reader decide the reason for the outing? Just a thought. Now songbirds and how deployed, such a visual. I'm not sure where this might occur over waters, but sense it closer to shore and possibly on a small lake. Just thinking about some of these elements offer shrinks the whole scene down and then wondered, no 'hello' from the boater passing? I can imagine the narrator laying back in the boat, perhaps with a hat slid over eyes, just taking it all in. The sounds of nature part might be a bit vague. This also could use some sensory. If you're nearing cattails, very close to shore. There could be some smells from the grass or shore that satisfy the nose. Could there be crickets as its getting later, a loon would be nice, if a lake. Just some added thoughts. I can see how verse four fits in this progression, as the speaker takes time to opine near conclusion -- because through all of these experiences comes introspect. There is the noted appreciation of this slow-paced, stop-and-smell-the-roses kind of experience. This poem is mostly straightforward taking a note of nature and surrounding and effect upon the narrator. A reader also gets caught in that lazy drift and would come up with a similar revelation. The writing is as smooth as the scenes portrayed and no hiccups for me. It's good to be able to read something through without having to go back, except I had to be picky of a time element.  Overall, I really enjoyed this as I usually do with your poetry. Not seeing your writes as much as I used to when we'd bump into one another with WDC's various writing activities. But, at least I see you around from time to time. So, good to have run into this and reminded of the poet. Always a pleasure, Brian WDC Angel Army Reviewer  If read and review would just give me fifteen more minutes...actually 23 left. Oops, under 10. I'll add some ML. *shrug*  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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