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Review #4767678
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Dear laharee1,

I would love to see expanded this item you've offered, unaware of the existence of Four-Leaf Clover Day. I'm a wee bit Irish, though Ancestry.com hasn't acknowledged precise heritage, but it's what my mom always told me. She's shared a lot of stories with me, but nothing like this.

What I felt lacked here is the actual date of the annual event, assuming by item construction date, yesterday. You've described this as how-to/advice, as well as, Friendship and community. Taken in the spirit in which the author meant, I'd like to comment on the described 'poetry' piece and see what it offers.

I wasn't sure if the poem started under the description line, or after the next two lines heralding the day that served more as information, rather than poem. From the third line, I find it is leads with a nicely worded introduction, as I see it:

Four leaves are rare to see.

If this offering had not been bannered as is, but be rather coy, this line I've captured would tease a reader with interest to read further. If your title avoids mention of the shamrock, and the description and opening lines of information could just be added at bottom of the poem, adding additional context. The reader could go into this read with a clean slate, fresh eyes and certain would be fully intrigued by a poem that introduces us to a bit of story that offers advice and positivity.

I could easily work with the content that followed and find a very positive tone and something of folklore or legend of four-leaf clovers, as I've known, to bring good fortune and luck. Here you have introduced to me another way to consider the little weed's charm.

To me, this poem is set up this way, and with nothing above but an obtuse title:

Four leaves are rare to see. (perfect the way it is)
If we can spread (its) these four (leaves,) (moved line 4 up)
But it is the(S)ymbol(s)( -- ) ofhope, fortune, faith and love(,)
Those are essential to live a meaningful life.
Our lifelives will be peaceful
And get the(with this) charm of heaven here...

I couldn't add Writing ML to all of this to clearly show edit points, and add the three periods at the end, as it is your poem. And this is just how it might look once all the editor notations are removed:

The Charm Of Heaven

Four leaves are rare to see.
If we can spread its four leaves,
symbols: hope, fortune, faith and love,
essential to live a meaningful life.
Our lives will be peaceful
with this charm from heaven on earth.

Again, you are the master of the work. I offer this as a way for you to envision the direction in another way that might capture a reader. And I like knowing there is a four-leaf clover day. My mom found six-leaf clovers and kept one in her bible, which I possess.

It is a rarity, and feels like good fortune, to find a mutated clover. I was always looking in our yard for one, and fascinated by how much our rabbits loved to eat them.

I don't know the origin of the information provided, either. And I think you could play around with this more as information, and maybe an article instead of poem. The how-to part could be explored further, noting its not the luck found, but how we chose to live our lives, as if we possess this shamrock symbol of peace. It's a great metaphor for anything you chose do.

This was a joy to discover and thank you for posting it to share with the community.

Brian

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