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Review #4750737
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Early Morning In The City Open in new Window. [E]
A pen picture of a city awaking.
by Adherennium Plotting something Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings, Dr. Phool,

This is great poetry. It has an earthy clarity and candor as it describes the mundane happenings of a morning in the city. One might not think it’s very pretty or worthy of note, but the simple descriptions bring it to life and share the moment with photographic atmosphere. You’ve covered everything, including the little details that remind us this isn’t the United States, such as the tiny robotic street cleaners or the word “hoovered” instead of “vacuumed.” Did you write this as you observed the busy view from your window?

I remember when I was writing my Wind in the Willows fanfic as a little kid, I wanted to know if seagulls could be found across Great Britain. So I checked the land area of England and found it to be approximately the size of Florida. “So,” I reasoned, “if I can see seagulls pretty much anywhere in Florida (where I was born), I’d probably see them anywhere in England as well, not only by the beach.”

As I got older I discovered seagulls also live in Tennessee, where I grew up. What a surprise!

Your verses are quite tidy, leading us to look for rhyme or structure of some kind. I’m not the syllable counting type or I would try to see if you used a standard poetic form of some kind. I remember Robert Frost wrote Mending Wall with no rhyme but a steady meter that enabled me to memorize it at one point years ago.

Take care, thanks for sharing, and keep writing *HeartT*


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