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The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+) For G.o.T. Activity #1994693 by Gaby

"Game of Thrones"  Hello fellow writer. My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.Title: Hello, Kitty!First Impression: This is a cute story and a great response to the prompt of thirteen kittens. What is that expression? A good deed does not go unpunished? And then we were...a houseful, a mob of kittens. The chubby tuxedo was in fact not obese, but pregnant. Surprise! Perhaps that cat intended to knock upon the door in her quest for a suitable birthing shelter. She was indeed fortunate to approach a cat lover. What needs your attention: Is a comma necessary when describing the mess in the driveway? "Evidence of rummaging," this comma is not really required. I am guilty of this, run-on sentences. I suppose my mind becomes excited and motivated to write. The words spew forth in a stream. I would suggest shortening several of your sentences. I believe this would give the action, the description more impact. Here is an example. "As we sat down to drink coffees the kittens cried, scratched, jumped around, turned over the sugar bowl and intentionally nibbled on the milk. They wouldn't back away no matter what." In describing the first time sleeping with Foxy you wrote" Just in case there's some foulness involved." The verb tenses already in that sentence support writing "there'd be."What part I liked best: The concept of living and enduring fourteen cats is mind-boggling. I imagine chaos would reign and you do a great job showing that craziness. Yes, they would be underfoot most of the time. I once lived with a mommy cat and her three kittens. That was an experience. I like the narrator's surprise solution to crowd control, a dog. Even funnier is that the mother feline accepted him without a fuss. I laughed at the line," I do not want to see that kind of litter."Overall Impression: This is an amusing now-what-do-I-do story. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure. What does the fox say??? Listen carefully. (2057 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestion of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.