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Review #4747225
Viewing a review of:
 Liminal  [E]
Logic or intuition
by Mirage
Review of Liminal  
Review by Jayne
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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This is a "Game of Thrones"  review!


Hello, Mirage!

*Checkb*First Impression:
This poem makes a striking first impression with vivid imagery and emotional depth. It allows the reader to contemplate the concepts of isolation and misunderstanding, with the contrast between the physical and mental immediately evident, which sets a thoughtful tone.

*Checkb*Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:
Free verse allows for a fluid expression of ideas, which suits the philosophical nature of the poem. However, rhythm and cadence still play a significant role in any poem's reading, including free verse. In this case, both fluctuate and sometimes disrupt the flow. There is a case to be made for free verse to be jarring under circumstances, but here, it is more a matter of some lines standing as disconnected from the poem as a whole. Even with that note, you have some concise, impactful statements in the poem, which still make for powerful reading.


*Checkb*Content:
There is plenty of metaphorical language to underline your themes, and imagery like "one silent scream" and "a heart never dies alone" are particularly powerful.

Again, some clean-up of other lines could help enhance the overall readability, such as helping the reader understand the poem's throughline about the line about bare feet and how it fits into the overall narrative.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
There are those who like free verse punctuation and those who don't, but you've used exclamation marks here, so I don't think it's off the table. Using punctuation can help direct the reader to the areas of thoughtful pause while also helping to set the ebb and flow of the poem, improving its rhythm and cadence.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
This poem tackles complex emotional themes with a clear voice and sharp imagery. Although I have pointed out some areas for improvement, at its core, this is a strong poem with a resounding message.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Jayne *Smile*


My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" 


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