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Review #4745446
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My Mother the Star Open in new Window. [ASR]
A mother and daughter in the roaring 20's
by Maryann Author Icon
Review by . . . Jeremy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello Maryann

You are receiving this review of "My Mother the StarOpen in new Window. in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

*Gem* Areas of Strength

*Bullet* The story effectively immerses the reader in the vibrant atmosphere of the 1920s, capturing the essence of the era through specific details. For example, the mention of owning a Ford Model T, shopping for a Chanel dress, and the excitement of seeing an airplane all contribute to creating a rich and authentic setting. These details not only help to establish the historical context but also enhance the reader's understanding of the protagonist's world.

*Bullet* The protagonist's admiration and love for her mother, a silent film star, are palpable throughout the story. The use of descriptive language, such as "I feel very special to have a mother who is a star," and "I'm proud that my mother is a silent film star," effectively conveys the protagonist's admiration and pride. This strong emotional connection adds depth to the protagonist's character and provides insight into her experiences and perspectives.

*Bullet* The story offers a unique and personal perspective on the life of a celebrity child. By focusing on the protagonist's daily experiences, such as shopping trips and interactions with friends, the story humanizes the glamorous image of celebrity life. This perspective allows readers to relate to the protagonist on a personal level, despite the larger-than-life nature of her mother's career.

*Bullet* The narrative voice is engaging and authentic, capturing the innocence and curiosity of a child experiencing the world around her. The protagonist's voice feels genuine and age-appropriate, making her experiences and observations relatable to readers of all ages.

*Bullet* Beneath the surface of the story's seemingly simple narrative lies a deeper exploration of themes such as family, identity, and societal expectations. The protagonist's reflections on her mother's celebrity status, her interactions with classmates, and her thoughts on body language and communication add layers of complexity to the story, inviting readers to contemplate larger ideas about fame, self-expression, and personal relationships.


*Gem* Areas for Improvement

*Bullet* While the protagonist's admiration for her mother is well-established, more depth could be added to her character to enhance the emotional impact of the story. For example, the protagonist's relationship with her mother could be further explored through specific interactions or memories that highlight their bond. Incorporate scenes or anecdotes that show the mother-daughter relationship in action, demonstrating the mother's influence on the protagonist's life and values. This could include conversations, shared experiences, or moments of conflict and resolution that reveal more about their dynamic.

*Bullet* The story introduces elements of conflict, such as the protagonist's struggles with her science grade and her mother's reaction to it, but these conflicts are resolved quickly and without much depth. This can reduce the tension and emotional impact of the narrative. Develop the conflicts in the story to create more tension and drama. For example, the protagonist's academic struggles could be a recurring theme that she grapples with throughout the story, leading to a more significant resolution or realization by the end.

*Bullet* The story covers a range of experiences and events in a relatively short space, which can sometimes make it feel rushed or disjointed. Some transitions between scenes and ideas could be smoother to improve the overall flow of the narrative. Focus on key moments or experiences that contribute most to the protagonist's development and the central themes of the story. Streamline the narrative by eliminating unnecessary details and ensuring that each scene or event serves a clear purpose in advancing the plot or developing the characters.

*Bullet* While the protagonist's voice is engaging, the dialogue in the story could be more natural and authentic, especially in interactions between characters. Some dialogues feel slightly forced or overly explanatory, detracting from the realism of the characters' conversations. Pay attention to the nuances of everyday speech and strive to make the dialogue sound more natural. Consider how real people would speak in the given situations and try to capture that authenticity in the characters' interactions.

*Bullet* The story touches on themes such as family, identity, and societal expectations. These themes could be more fully developed to add depth and resonance to the narrative. Explore these themes more explicitly through the protagonist's reflections and experiences. Allow the themes to drive the plot and character development, creating a more cohesive and impactful story overall.



*Gem* Overall Impression

Overall, the story offers an intriguing glimpse into the life of a child of a silent film star, showcasing a unique perspective and setting. The protagonist's admiration for her mother and the excitement of her celebrity lifestyle are well-captured, providing a vivid picture of the Roaring Twenties era.

The narrative effectively conveys the protagonist's pride in her mother's stardom and the challenges they face due to societal judgment, adding depth to the story. The incorporation of historical elements, such as the mention of popular figures like Charlie Chaplin and cultural references like the Ford Model T, enriches the setting and adds authenticity to the narrative.

The story could benefit from further development in several areas. Character development, particularly for the protagonist and her mother, could be enhanced to create more emotional depth and complexity. The conflicts introduced in the story could be more fully explored and resolved to create a more compelling narrative arc. Additionally, the pacing and dialogue could be refined to improve the overall flow and realism of the story.

Despite these areas for improvement, the story has great potential and offers a unique perspective that could resonate with readers. With further development and attention to detail, it could become a captivating and engaging narrative. Keep exploring the rich setting and characters you've created, and consider how you can further develop their stories to create a more immersive reading experience.



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DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed within this review are the sole product of the reviewer. They do not necessarily reflect those of the group, activity and/or event in which they are affiliated. Any implementation of suggested edits is at the sole discretion of the piece's writer; they may be used when and where deemed necessary by the writer of the piece and/or disregarded in their entirety. The reviewer releases any and all rights and/or claims to those suggestive edits should they be utilized by the writer of the piece.


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