Review of Girl's Write Out

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744967

Review #4744967

Viewing a review of:

Girl's Write Out

[13+]
Dealing with a muse
by Whiskerfacebythefireplace

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4744967

Review of Girl's Write Out

Review by StephBee

In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army

Rated: 13+

| (4.5)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

GAMES OF THRONES STORY REVIEW

This is a review for "Girl's Write Out"

from House Targaryen for "Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

THE STORY

Lena needs her muse to focus on poetry and not gussing her up.

WHAT I LIKED

I enjoyed the character voice. Chloe came across a flighty must with determination to do the right thing by her writer and Lena came across as a determined writer wanting to find balance with Chloe.

POV NARRATION/TENSE

This is told in the first person by Lena. Good job with narration. Past tense is used appropriately.

DIALOGUE

There's a good blend of dialogue and narration. Dialogue tags are used appropriately.

DESCRIPTIONS

There's enough to set the scenes. I liked: "dress in something that actually flatters you, and discover a hairstyle. Geez, Lena!" We get a great visual of Lena using a good economy of words.

SETTING

TIME: modern day?
PLACE: not sure? A Writer's house?

This is something that isn't necessarily clarified for the reader, but I don't think it needs to be. The piece is a vinyette is more focused on comedic bets.

CHARACTERS

Lena

She's a writer, but she needs her muse to play along.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of spacing here on WDC to make it easier on the reader's eyes. The vinyette is easy to read.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I liked the title a lot and I thought it captured the essence of the quirkiness between Chloe and Lena. The opening engages the reader in a nice conversational tone. A comedic read that make one think on a slightly deeper level.