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The Iron Bank of Braavos  (13+) For G.o.T. Activity #1994693 by Creeper Of The Realm

"Game of Thrones"  Hello fellow writer! My name is Sandra. I am one of the sly foxes.title: Mall MisadventureFirst Impression: Whew, Aunt Marcy had to embrace her inner superwoman capabilities for her niece and nephew. She endured and survived one action-packed trip to the mall. Spending time with young children requires stamina, ingenuity and lots and lots of patience. Never mind ballroom dance classes. Marcy learned the ultimate workout is toddler-care boot camp. What needs your attention: I have been taught that a comma is placed before the word 'but'. "No thats silly" should have an apostrophe as in 'that's'. "Her nerves were stained." Do you mean "her nerves were strained"? "But the much larger adult was quickly loosing steam." It is "losing steam." In the food court "it absolutely packed" could be "it was absolutely packed." What I liked best: I love the flow and action in this story. It is fast paced and a whirlwind non-stop that frazzles Marcy. The humour utilized to describe the exuberant Addie is spot on and believable. I laughed when the obviously childless aunt refers to the kids as small "power plants." Catching Addie "the fastest land animal alive" sparks graphic imagery. Yes, how could anyone fail to see that as quite the accomplishment. Also amusing: "half the attention span of a goldfish." Marcy claiming her arms were almost ripped from their sockets is not a blatant exaggeration. Kids are strong and determined. I loved how Grandpa seemed oblivious to the chaos. He enjoyed his outing with cherished grandchildren.Overall Impression: This is a delightful insight into the struggles of an aunt to keep pace with her exuberant nephew and niece. Thanks for the laughs! Thank you for allowing me to read your work. It has been my pleasure! What does the fox say??? Listen carefully.(1912 characters) DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a a corrective action or otherwise.