Greetings Elizabeth !

I am currently reviewing as part of the tasks set by the "Game of Thrones" . I especially visited your port to dig your most precious gems then this piece appeared. In this review, I mainly focus on the positives of your piece and I may point some Areas for Improvement if found any. Without much a do, here are the things I noticed after delving deeper into the contents:


"Mourning Hair" transcends its concise form by packing a powerful emotional punch. The poem utilizes repetition to create a sense of being trapped. The first two stanzas echo with the image of "disaster hair," transforming a bad hair day into a potent symbol of the speaker's emotional turmoil. The line, "One where dad's not tube-fed," is raw and visceral, yanking the reader into the harsh reality of the situation and the desperate hope for a different future.

The poem takes a subtle but impactful turn in the third stanza. Replacing "wake up" with "mourning" acknowledges the pervasive sadness that now colors the speaker's entire world. This shift is amplified by the world itself transforming into "chaos," mirroring the internal turmoil caused by the impending loss. The final line stings with a quiet desperation. Fixing their hair, a once mundane act of self-care, becomes a bittersweet gesture reserved for the funeral – a fragile hope for normalcy in a world forever altered.

"Mourning Hair" achieves its power through its relatable simplicity. The use of everyday imagery, like hair, grounds the speaker's experience in a way that resonates with the reader. The poem eschews elaborate metaphors, relying instead on raw honesty to paint a portrait of grief and unwavering love in the face of illness. The sparse language allows the emotional core of the poem to shine through, making it a deeply affecting and universally understandable exploration of loss. Thank you for sharing this powerfully inspiring poem. Write on!

Best regards,
Gervic