\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744642
Review #4744642
Viewing a review of:
 
Skip Open in new Window. [E]
A young boy needs his dog. Writer's Cramp Winning Entry
by IE Author Icon
Review of Skip  Open in new Window.
Review by . . . Jeremy Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Free Folk  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


Hello IE

You are receiving this review of "SkipOpen in new Window. in connection with "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window..

*Gem* Areas of Strength

*Bullet* The story effectively portrays Barney as a determined and caring protagonist, while also fleshing out his relationship with his parents and his beloved dog, Skip. This allows readers to empathize with Barney and become emotionally invested in his quest to find Skip.

*Bullet* The pacing of the story is well-executed, with moments of tension balanced by quieter, more reflective moments. This helps to maintain the reader's interest and keeps the story moving at a compelling pace.

*Bullet* The story is rich in descriptive details that create a vivid and immersive world. Details such as the rain spattering the windshield and the darkness of the dump help to establish the setting and enhance the atmosphere of the story.

*Bullet* The characters in the story are well-rounded and believable, with distinct personalities and motivations. Barney's parents are portrayed as loving and supportive, adding depth to the story and enriching Barney's character development.

*Bullet* The dialogue in the story feels natural and authentic, helping to reveal the characters' personalities and relationships. The conversations between Barney and his parents, as well as his interactions with Skip, are particularly well-written and add to the emotional depth of the story.


*Gem* Areas for Improvement

*Bullet* While the plot of the story is engaging, it could benefit from further development in certain areas. For example, more detail could be added to Barney's search for Skip, including encounters with other characters or obstacles along the way, to add depth to the story and increase tension.

*Bullet* The story does a good job of establishing Barney's goal of finding Skip. However, it could benefit from more internal and external conflict to drive the narrative forward. Adding obstacles or challenges for Barney to overcome would create a more dynamic and compelling story.

*Bullet* The resolution of the story, where Barney finds Skip at the dump, feels somewhat rushed. More time could be spent building up to this moment, perhaps with Barney encountering more challenges or facing his fears, to make the resolution more satisfying and impactful.

*Bullet* While the story touches on themes of love, determination, and the bond between a boy and his dog, these themes could be more fully developed. Exploring Barney's emotions more deeply, particularly his fear and sadness at losing Skip, would add depth to the story and make it more resonant with readers.



*Gem* Overall Impression

Overall, the story is a heartfelt and well-crafted tale with strong character development and vivid imagery. With some additional plot development and thematic exploration, it could be even more compelling and impactful. I'm aware that this was originally crafted for The Writer's Cramp and was under the constraints of that contest. I've only offered my suggestive edits above in lieu of you wishing to take this piece beyond it's original creation and flesh it out a bit more. I think it has the merit, the tension, the plot, and the framework of a great short story.

Write on! *Pencil*



*Snow2*          *Swords*          *Snow4*          *Swords*          *Snow2*


Let your imagination run wild.

Set your creativity free.

We are the Free Folk.

And we do not kneel.


The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed within this review are the sole product of the reviewer. They do not necessarily reflect those of the group, activity and/or event in which they are affiliated. Any implementation of suggested edits is at the sole discretion of the piece's writer; they may be used when and where deemed necessary by the writer of the piece and/or disregarded in their entirety. The reviewer releases any and all rights and/or claims to those suggestive edits should they be utilized by the writer of the piece.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/13/2024 @ 8:06pm EDT
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744642