\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744294
Review #4744294
Viewing a review of:
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished Open in new Window. [13+]
It is a wonderful feeling to help out a loved one,but, wait to see what happens next.
by Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ Author Icon
Review by JayNaNoOhNo Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Image for Activity


This is a "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window. review!



Hello, Ẃeβ࿚ẂỉԎḈĥ!

*Checkb*Overall Impression:
This is a charming story of the trials and tribulations of helping family (and life in general!).

*Checkb*Title and Description:
I like the title, and I really like how you've used the description as a proper teaser to entice the reader to click through and read the story.

*Checkb*Hook and plot:
With all the mishaps, it's no wonder the whole story is essentially a hook. With the amount of comedy, laborious projects, mishaps, and discomfort (and that's before the washing machine even shows up!), the reader wants to keep going, rooting for you the whole time.

*Checkb*Content:
Given the state of everything in the story, it's little wonder it takes a bit of a cynical tone, although it's not harsh in any way. You've painted the family dynamics well and in a good-natured way. By blending humor and realism, you conveyed the joys and problems of family life. It's refreshingly candid, and it feels real and related.

You have excellent comedic timing and a knack for setting up the punchlines with your descriptions and word choices.

I did have a laugh-out-loud moment: We return another time to hell's gate, where mercy does not exist.

*Checkb*Grammar and Mechanics:
I found no spelling or grammar errors, and the conversational tone is a good choice for this recounting. It remains consistent throughout the story.

*Checkb*Final Thoughts:
Why are washing machines set up the way they are? It's absolutely maddening. And now I have one of those super deep ones without an agitator, and I'm sure one day I'll be writing a story about how I got stuck upside down in it. Or maybe I'll be writing a story about how I gave up on clothes entirely, and my local thrift shop is where you want to be for some great items!

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

JayNaNoOhNo Author Icon*Smile*



My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" Open in new Window.



The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744294