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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4742666
Review #4742666
Viewing a review of:
 The Smiling Rabbit Open in new Window. [13+]
The monsters are coming.
by Abby Gayle Author Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Greetings from the House of Mormont!
By participating in a Writing.com activity called "Game of Thrones" Open in new Window., I am in no way endorsing the GoT franchise or identifying as a fan thereof. I’m here to help my team win *Smile*

Whoa, this was good. When I saw the Dark genre and the way it was headed, I didn’t know what to expect. Usually when stories are dark here, they’re dark. But you’ve brought a soul shaking relief to the end of the story, as we see Caitlin peacefully giving up her life for the little girl to have her mother back. I don’t want to wax too “Christian” on anyone here, but this is a fine example of a parable or metaphor inspired by and pointing to the great sacrifice of Jesus. The sacrificial element is a classic and memorable staple of good stories for a reason.

You’ve brought together eeriness, danger and surreal elements like a mysterious underwater being to create a world that could easily be a short movie, with strongly visual elements that draw us in and keep us looking forward to what happens next. Your prose is clear and simple, and I see nothing to correct or suggest to change. As a story written for a contest, it takes up the prompt excellently and creates an unforgettable moment. I almost cried at the end, in a good way.

Now that the contest is over, you can add a third genre to it. I would suggest “Death,” but there are other possibilities.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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"The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.


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