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 Review #4742550 |
 | Night Terrors  [13+] A Daily Flash Fiction entry.  |
  This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, Elizabeth!  Overall Impression:This is a fascinating premise with its blend of psychological horror and suspense. Title and Description: I like the title a lot. I've mentioned before how descriptions are best used as a short version of a book blurb to entice the reader in, so I won't belabor the point. Hook and plot:Your story starts with a compelling hook – Suzanna wakes from a nightmare and feels the demon's presence linger even after she wakes. This sets a tense atmosphere from the get-go. The plot attempts to blur the lines between dreams and reality, and the premise of her dreams being prophetic is intriguing. However, the MC's actions come across as somewhat irresponsible, taking the mystique from the prophecy angle and leaving it as a series of bad decisions. While the story maintains steady tension throughout, the ending is quite abrupt, but not in a jarring car crash way. It felt like the story simply stopped. I'm doubtful this story would have had a traditional satisfying ending, as it started off abruptly, but the ending needs a little tweaking so the reader can walk away feeling like they've read a complete story. Characters and dialogue:While the focus on the MC's immediate experiences is strong, there's room to delve deeper into her character to make her more relatable and increase the reader's investment in her story. If not her background specifically, then glimpses of the backstory of the situation would help give more context to the story. Grammar and Mechanics:I found no glaring spelling and grammar errors. Final Thoughts:You have a solid foundation here. With a bit of revision and filling in some gaps, the story has the potential to be thoroughly compelling. Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo   My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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