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 Review #4742430 |
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| (2.5)   This is a "Game of Thrones" review!Hello, peanutbutter!  Overall Impression:This is a lovely sentiment about what it means to be a friend and the desire to be the best friend possible. Form, Rhythm, Cadence, and Style:Free verse offers a lot of flexibility for structure, but it's important to remember that there will still be a sort of internal structure that leads the reader into the ebb and flow of the poem. Free verse can be almost lyrical to downright jarring, depending on what the author wants to get across. You've done that in a few spots, like "You won't believe me." At other times, the lines feel too long and rushed as the reader tries to keep the piece's flow going. Content, Grammar, and Mechanics:I appreciate the sentiment behind the piece and believe what you've written is from the heart. It's clear you've put a lot of thought into the kind of friend you want to be and how you can impact the lives of those around you. In that way, I think you've communicated what you wanted to. However, the poem has some areas that detract from its enjoyment. Spelling errors, like possaible instead of possible take the reader away from the content. The same is true for missing words and grammatical errors I have came in to your, which should be I came into your life. You use but, because, and to start multiple lines, but they don't read as a literary device. You've chosen to capitalize the first letter of each line but not capitalize the first-person "I" throughout the poem, even if that same I is capitalized at the beginning. These errors and inconsistencies compete for your reader's attention, and your message can get lost. It takes practice to get poetry nailed down, even if it's free verse. Keep writing, seek out examples, and refine your work as you learn. It's a journey, but with your passion for topics like this, you have tons of potential to explore. Final Thoughts:You're obviously a caring and thoughtful person, and your dedication to friendship is something to be commended. Thank you for sharing your work with us! JayNaNoOhNo  My approach to reviews: "I'll Explain, but not Disclaim" The views and opinions in this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and, therefore, do not necessarily reflect the group, activity, and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
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