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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741509
Review #4741509
Viewing a review of:
 My Thousand Dreams  [E]
My Thousand Dreams
by Ballybur
Review by Elycia Lee ☮
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a Game of Thrones raid by House Florent, brought to you by: "Game of Thrones.

Elycia Lee's House Florent GOT Emblem designed by Gervic the Genius

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I feel so connected to your poem, like it understood me especially now that I'm in the midst of the Game of Thrones. *Laugh* Your poem is relatable especially for the general 'overworked' readers who want nothing more than to run away from whatever they are supposed to be doing especially told in soothing rhymes that follow the AA-BB-CC-DD EE-FF-GG-HH II-JJ KK pattern. The mood I've picked up from this poem is exasperation, anguish (oh, you've mentioned that) and sarcasm which, btw, I really, really enjoy. *Laugh* And despite carrying those mood, because of its rhyme meter, the poem sounds so catchy and upbeat that actually elevate the sarcastic tone in the poem. I like how your poem is able to express the conflicts faced by an over-demanding workforce who wants people to spend longer hours at the workplace as a promotion factor, which is unfortunately a very real situation out there. In fact, I felt like I'm at the stage of my life where I can totally understand "Work whenever and be a job bore". Oh, but I really did not see the twist in the end where you've mentioned *Right* Because of debt, the main character mentioned in the poem had to put up with everything anyway. *Sob* This poem is way too realistic. It's nice to read about someone going through the exact same thing in my life, having to make the very same decision because of the very same reason. I think this poem is fantastic. Really. I love your opening hook: "I’ve finally shunned the work/Done with the final poking jerk" the first stanza being my very favourite line. There are no grammatical errors spotted. It's not easy writing a poem that mirror people's life so accurately so well done! I look forward to seeing more of your work.

| 21:31 (+8 GMT *Countrymy*), 3 April 2024, Wednesday |

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Thank you for sharing this with us and Write On! *Heart*


Elycia Lee ☮

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