Hi W.P. Gerace -

This is a "Game of Thrones"  review.

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinions and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

The reason I chose this particular story/poem: I do enjoy a good animal story.

My opinion of said story/poem: Interesting premise but it felt unfinished like the ending was rushed. Let's start at the beginning:

1. The last line of the third paragraph has the name "Any", I think you want "Andy".

2. Paragraph nine appears to have an extra word, which can easily happen when you decide to trade out one phrase for another. The sentence with "pretty too small" is the one you're looking for.

3. In the last paragraph you refer to Snowflake as "their". Throughout the rest of the story, your references to Snowflake have been "she", "her", and "it". You may want to decide which one you want to use, for uniformity's sake.

4. The reason I say it is unfinished is because there are too many unanswered questions. Such as: What happened to Andy? Is Roy dead? Etc.

Conclusion: This story has a great plot and a lot of promise for a much larger story. Again I think the ending was rushed and some pertinent details were forgotten. Maybe now that the contest is over, and those pesky word count limits are done with, you can expand the story. Possibly even answering some of those questions stated in the fourth bullet point above. I do like my stories wrapped up in a pretty bow at the end.

Write on!

Thanks much,
Lovina




Your work was rated using the guidelines from:

Comment-In-A-Box  (E) My view on and methods of rating items on Writing.Com. #544247 by The StoryMistress

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .