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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4741298
Review #4741298
Viewing a review of:
 Gilda's Roses Open in new Window. [13+]
What do the roses hide?
by Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon
Review of Gilda's Roses  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hallo Prosperous Snow celebrating Author Icon!*Smile*
I will be reviewing your work "Gilda's RosesOpen in new Window. on behalf of "House Targaryen PointsOpen in new Window. for "Game of ThronesOpen in new Window.

*Dragon2* Content:

This is a short story that appears to be written for a challenge; though I would have loved to see what the prompt was about. However, it tells of a man who still enjoys the simple task of watering the flowers of his beloved wife, Gilda, even ten years after their last argument. However, an unexpected guest appears. Who is he? And what does he want with our protagonist's wife?

*Dragon2* Pluses:

Not sure if you have heard of the T.V. show 'Tales of the Unexpected', but this story of yours would make for a very nice episode of that program. You've done a good job setting up the scene for us, letting us somewhat know of the kind of relationship Bradly had with his wife Gilda. Maybe it's just me, but I was able to tell right away that something was off in the beginning.

With the introduction of Jacob, however, we get to see a completely different side of a man we once thought quiet and unassuming. At the knowledge that Jacob is his wife's brother (where has he been all these years by the way?), Bradly immediately does what he knows best. To silence all those likely to reveal his darkest of secrets.

Unfortunately, there now comes the problem of hiding his deed. With nosey neigbhors about the place, where else can be used to keep the damning evidence? I'll leave it up to the next reader to try to figure that out!

*Dragon2* Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. *Smile*

>> I'm her brother (,) Jacob."

>> he dropped four small piles (pills) into one

>> "Where is Gilda (?)," asked Jacob,

>> "She went shopping, but she aught (ought) to be back soon (.)"

>> Soon (,) Jacob was passed out on the couch.

>> Gilda's bones are buried there (,) and I can't afford

*Dragon**Bullet**Fire**Bullet**Dragon*


Thanks for sharing your short story with us. It was a pleasure to read. Write on! *Bigsmile*

Fire and Blood - the Throne is Ours!



Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/02/2024 @ 3:58pm EDT
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