This story was quite the adventure with a nice twist at the end!

The characters, especially Leann and Leo, are well-developed and their personalities come through vividly in their actions and dialogue. Leann's excitement and enthusiasm for the balloon ride, contrasted with Leo's nervousness and skepticism, create a dynamic and engaging dynamic between them. Leann's happy-dance in the parking lot and her exclamation, "I've always wanted to do this! This is going to be the best birthday ever!" demonstrates her excitement and adventurous spirit. In contrast, Leo's nervousness is evident in his admission, "I'm a little nervous about doing this," and his initial reluctance to join in Leann's enthusiasm.

The description of the balloon ride and the surrounding countryside is vivid and immersive, creating a strong sense of place for the reader. The imagery of floating over the autumn landscape, "like sailing over a painting," adds to the beauty and serenity of the scene. The description of the autumn trees in full color, "It would be like sailing over a painting," creates a vivid image of the scenery and sets the tone for the peaceful and scenic nature of the balloon ride—until the end .

The story builds suspense effectively, especially in the moments leading up to Leo's fall from the balloon. The reader is kept on edge, wondering what will happen next and how Leann will react to the situation. The tension is palpable as Leo leans over the edge of the basket to see a landmark, only to be suddenly flipped off his feet and thrown over the side. The abruptness of the action adds to the shock and intensity of the moment. It was fantastic!

While the twist ending is surprising and rather effective in its shock value, it feels somewhat abrupt and could be foreshadowed throughout the story. Subtle hints or clues about Leann's true intentions could be woven into the narrative to make the twist feel more natural and less like a sudden plot twist. Early in the story, Leann's behavior could be subtly foreshadowed by small, seemingly insignificant actions or comments that hint at her darker motives. For example, a casual remark about wanting to do something "brave for myself" could take on a more sinister meaning in hindsight.

Leann's sudden shift from a clumsy but harmless character to a deliberate murderer feels somewhat forced and could be more subtly developed. Her motivations for wanting to kill Leo are not entirely clear and could be explored in more depth to make her actions feel more believable. Leann's internal thoughts or memories could provide insight into her true feelings and motivations. Perhaps she harbors resentment towards Leo for something beyond his mistreatment. Maybe she feels trapped in her marriage and sees this as a way to escape.

Some of the dialogue and internal monologue, especially Leo's thoughts about Leann, come across as overly critical and could be toned down to make the characters' interactions feel more realistic. Leo's abrupt shift from annoyance to anger at Leann's accidental camera swing feels somewhat exaggerated and could be more subtly portrayed. Instead of immediately lashing out at Leann for dropping the camera, Leo's reaction could be more nuanced, showing a mix of frustration, concern, and ultimately, anger. This would make his character feel more complex and his actions more believable.