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 Review #4740835 |
 | Tinkering Dreams  [ASR] Harold had never been lucky. Orphaned and fired. Still had dreams though.  |
| (4.5)  The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. Review of Tinkering Dreams by NaNotatoGo! It's often the case that the loss of one thing leads to the finding of a better one. Nice little story, although I'm not sure that the ending is sufficient to satisfy the reader. Otherwise, it's a very competently told tale with plenty of interest and an engaging imagination. One minor detail did succeed in irritating me. The word is "titfer," not "tifter." It comes from Cockney slang, abbreviated from "titfer-tat" - for "hat" - to "titfer."It's quite difficult to differentiate between the T and the F in this font size so it might just be a mistake. But it's also a good reason to increase the font size to make the whole thing more readable. Steampunk is my latest rave so I was particularly happy to have found this piece. You establish the right time period very early on (oh those dark satanic mills) and keep it going throughout, never lapsing into jarring anachronisms. This is so important in the genre and I must congratulate you on your handling of it. In conclusion, I think that the story is a good starting point for a much longer tale, perhaps a book or a series. You have two good, believable characters, they're young and so there's plenty of mileage in them, and the period is bristling with possibilities for unusual adventures. The sole weakness in the piece is in the ending, as far as I can see. It would be fine as the ending of a chapter but, as the end of a story, it's a bit flat. Which is another way of saying that the tale begs to continue - and giving him a better job puts a stop to that. Imagine the highjinks Hal and Ashe could get up to with her streetwise knowledge and his ability with machines! Review by  Beholden for  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/01/2024 @ 11:06pm EDT