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 Review #4740790 |
 | I suffer in silence  [E] If you were to be alone (not in real life)  |
| (4.5)| Hi Grass ,Welcome to Writing.Com!  This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" .Overall Impression: This is a deeply emotional poem that expresses feelings that many of us have struggled with from time to time. Therefore, I feel that it is relatable. I understand that it may not be a personal poem, as you mentioned in its description (not in real life), but it still does a good job at tapping into that darkness and despair that people feel in such situations. Life is tough. We can experience emotions that are difficult to describe, and even harder to cope with, and we long to reach out, but we don't know how. We end up suffering in silence, and fall ever deeper into despair, until it seems like even the smallest spark of hope is lost. Thankfully, things tend to get better. The light will eventually shine through, even if it doesn't feel that way in the moment. The darkness teaches us a lesson, though. We learn to not take the light and the good for granted. Along with doing a good job expressing this, the poem reads well. It has a nice rhythm and flow. Well done! Suggestions: I do have some suggestions, dear author. I hope you will find them helpful! Stanza 1:  The deep urn of unshed tears and loneliness have...As we are discussing the urn here, 'have' should be has. General Suggestions: You do not need a line space between every line. Just between stanzas. Removing these extra line spaces would make your poem easier on the eye. You use some punctuation in this poem. This is very welcome - it assists the overall clarity and reading experience. For that reason, I suggest going for full punctuation. That would perfect it. In line with this, I suggest allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. That, too, would help people find the rhythm and flow of the poem.My Rating: This is a well-written poem. It made for a good read. I did have some suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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