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 Review #4740721 |
| Hallo hammer48!  I will be reviewing your work "Invalid Item"  on behalf of "House Targaryen Points" for "Game of Thrones"  Content: A journalism student - back then - reminisces on an encounter with stormchasers for a college assignment. What started out as a grudging look into a life of 'lunacy', turns out to be a tale that leaves the narrator wondering what could have been and why certain choices had to be made. Pluses:There's a contest being hosted here about being able to hook a reader with the first line or lines of a story, and you did that effectively. I am a sucker for tales that usually start off with dialogue. It already gives you an idea of the character we're to be introduced to and as you go along, this character is given more depth and fleshed out. Through the narrator - Eric's - eyes, we are introduced to Renato and Homer, two stormchasers who are quite passionate about their work. It is easy to picture the trio in this diner having the conversation. It feels real and the topic - despite not being a very common dinner-table chat - is done in such a way that you are not lost with all the details and semantics of the job. In fact, I think I learned quite a few new things about what these guys do (and a whole level of respect). However, the crux of the story comes in the tale of Melanie - a photographer who, so eager to get the perfect shot - ends up in a dire situation that leaves the trio in a somber mood. While Homer blames himself for what happens, the reader can sympathize and relate to how he feels; that perhaps he's the one who pushed her to her ultimate demise. Unfortunately, choices were made and not very good ones, so is it okay to give them a pass or put the blame entirely on Melanie? This is what you've left the reader to decipher on their own, at least through the eyes of Eric. Well done. Suggestions:Fortunately, I have no suggestions for you as this slice of life story was very well-written and interested. Well, maybe just the formatting at the end of the story needs to be fixed as it all looks like a very large paragraph that could be broken up.    Thanks for sharing such a wonderful story with us. Keep on writing!    Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 04/01/2024 @ 10:49am EDT