%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4735127 |
 | Pirates and Elephants  [E] A story of childhood imagination.  |
| (4.5)  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"   First Impressions: I liked how this story developed; from the first to the second mistake, to really big mistakes, it was clear that this endeavour wouldn’t end well. Hindsight is a great thing though, and to the nine year old narrator’s mind, I can see why it all made sense. I chuckled when the friends kept asking question after question, not that easily convinced (and probably burned by previous adventures), and the narrator more or less patiently answered them all until he had persuaded them. And then he seals his fate with the line, I told my friends I didn’t see how anything could possibly go wrong. At this point, the readers wait with baited breath to see what and how badly it would actually go wrong - as well as being curious what was in those chests but assuming by now that the narrator wouldn’t actually find out. Well, it was quite spectacular. Not only did they fail in their quest, it also ruined the rest of the summer. It did, however, provide you with the opportunity to tell an amusing (for the readers) and entertaining tale, so something good came out of it!  Suggestions: The story was quite polished but I noticed a few errors: adventure has it’s genesis You need “its” without the apostrophe. split an old wooden crate in to some things “into”, one word. why not bury at the top There seems to be a word missing: bury it at the top? and beside they didn’t besides When asked about why did nobody see them I would probably reword this slightly. When asked about why nobody saw them To Blackie’s way to thinking way of thinking these three treasure chest chests which or may not Another missing word, may or may not something to do my genetics argument to do with my with a outgoing with an outgoing her older bother brother  Final Thoughts: Those are all just minor errors that didn’t really detract from the story itself, which was funny and well told. I especially liked the tone, and it felt like I got to know the nine year old who came up with this amazing plan quite well. I enjoyed the read!    My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 03/04/2024 @ 10:09am EST