\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4723357
Review #4723357
Viewing a review of:
 The Wake of Wildfire Open in new Window. [ASR]
A secret love affair goes public. (Two strays and two victims makes four.)
by Joto-Kai Author Icon
Review by JACE Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A WDC Power Review


Hi Joto-Kai Author Icon.

I'm JACE Author Icon, and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "The Wake of Wildfire" Open in new Window..

I invite your attention to the comments below. Please bear in mind these notes are from one on the outside looking in; ultimately only you can decide what's right for your story.

*Note1* Overall Impression. I enjoyed the read. Great use of rhyming the second and fourth lines of each stanza. Maybe it's just me, but I like the use of rhymes in poetry.

Forbidden desires seems to a common theme--or better, a pastime--for the human race. Few couples slip its embrace.

*Exclaim* Technical and Editorial Considerations. In this section I normally list those areas that relate specifically to the mechanics of your writing--punctuation, grammar, spelling, etc.

         *Bullet* I found your intermittent use of punctuation and use of caps to begin a line disconcerting. Read your poem out loud and I think you'll hear what I see. Some caps should be small letters and some commas are not needed. For example:

 (She and I) kept a flame,
Forbidden fire,
In a secret hearth
Away from loving eyes.

 (She and I) kept a flame.
Forbidden fire
in a secret hearth
away from loving eyes.

*Star* My Rating.  4.0. 

*Heart* Thank you for sharing this offering. Please accept these comments as offered in friendship and support. They are but my humble opinion.


Reviewed by
JACE

** Image ID #1386062 Unavailable **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/23/2023 @ 12:49pm EST
Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4723357