"Collected "  is a concise and thought-provoking poem that dives into the theme of finding love a second time. It uses a unique metaphor of objects and collections to depict the concept of being valued and included in someone's life. The poem effectively communicates its message in a compact form.

In the open, it presents the idea of objects of desire, initially sought after and prized but eventually gathering dust and becoming part of a collection. This metaphor cleverly represents past relationships or experiences that may have lost their luster over time. It suggests that love, like a treasured object, can lose its shine when it becomes routine or neglected. The following lines shift focus to what it means to be loved. It conveys the notion that true love involves being continually included, sought, and consulted. This contrasts the idea of becoming just another item in someone's collection, emphasizing the importance of genuine connection and active participation in a relationship.

In the concluding words, the poem offers a cautionary note about being objectified by others who may superficially smarm, charm, or blind individuals to their true intentions. It encourages the reader to choose carefully what they see and hear, urging them not to become "collected," which implies being merely a trophy or possession. To me, that was the profoundest message and very relatable. A person might wonder, after being burned more than a few times, what’s the motivation behind this person now whispering in your ear? Why the interest?

I think what follows is the trap of cynicism, not trusting one’s own heart. It’s also to me about lowering expectations, because it sets one up for a bigger fall. All my thoughts and takeaways about reading your thought provoking poem. So now, the other side of the coin…

Areas for Improvement:
1. Clarity and Consistency: While the metaphor of objects and collections is powerful, the poem could benefit from a bit more clarity in connecting the metaphor to the theme of finding love a second time. This would make the message more explicit for the reader. I workshopped with a former poet laureate who was a stickler for keeping references all pointing to a central metaphor. Otherwise, risk confusion or wind up using tired cliches or language.

2. Expanding on the Theme: The poem touches on the idea of finding love a second time, but it could provide more depth by including personal experiences or anecdotes that illustrate this theme. Adding specific examples or scenarios would enhance the poem's relatability. What is it about the second time that inspires the poem? What engagement of thought brought you to this, your catalyst? That’s where the impetuous to inspire fresh words thrives.

3. Flow and Rhythm: While the poem is concise, some variation in line length and rhythm could enhance its overall structure. Experimenting with line breaks or stanza divisions would create a more dynamic flow and pacing. I think of music, rhythm and flow. The lyrics of a good song do this. Eventually, it feels like conversation, a soliloquy if you will, either breathless in pleading one moment then slowing to a hush. Dramatic. Whatever feels natural for the profound, emotive elements.

In conclusion, "Collected", to me, effectively conveys the idea of finding love a second time through a metaphor of objects and collections. But it could improve, so the poem could clarify its metaphor, expand on the theme, and experiment with flow and rhythm for a more engaging reading experience.

It was a pleasure to consider your fine poem for comment.

Sincerely,

Brian
Super Power Reviewer



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .