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Review #4711921
Viewing a review of:
Forgotten Melody Resurfaces  [E]
Magic really does happen.
by WriterRick
Review by Beholden
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Yes, but what did the number mean?

Sorry, couldn't resist it. The tale drew me in, tantalised me with a number and then held it close to its chest, refusing to say any more. I think that's going to be the reaction of anyone who reads this. Is that a bad thing? I'm unsure but it's not the kind of thing I would attempt without having a good answer to the question. You've built up so much expectation that it's best to have some sort of denouement, good or bad, that gives completion to the reader.

So what could the answer be? It might be a Swiss bank account number and be the key to a drawer that holds Pandora's box, just waiting for someone to find it and draw all the world's ills back to it. It could be Dr Watson's telephone number in heaven and he has the script of Sherlock Holmes' last case ready for you to publish. It has a chance of being the co-ordinates of a black hole that is about to swallow the earth and spit it out in a new universe. All that matters is that you have an answer, no matter how ridiculous it is.

I've spent far too long in pondering the possibilities in this. The story as written is entertaining, well written and fun. And now I'm wondering whether it was a good idea to bring in the number at all. It's a good enough tale with the 23rd note alone and some less earth-shattering reason for its being spun to give the story a bite at the end. The number raises too many hopes, I think.

As regards presentation, it would be an idea to drop Contest Entry and Other from the genre section in the header. Neither of them are likely subjects for search on the net and they don't bring in any readers as a result. Replace them with something like Mystery and Fantasy, for instance, and you'll pull in more readers.

Great little story - needs an ending.

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Beholden


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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4711921