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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4711480
Review #4711480
Viewing a review of:
 A Thimblefull of Trouble  [E]
When the walls that hide the world of the fae begin to come down.
by ~*Poppy C*~
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Dear Poppy,

I have so many questions about linear time, or the age of that tree. This is a fascinating story. Not the type I would search out, but it would warm the heart of a naive child. There are many common storytelling elements/tropes used in this type of fiction. There may be something unique, as well. I especially enjoyed the story once we got a better feel, reveal, of how these little people go unnoticed.

If this doesn’t take place where these little people are believed to exist, we need some kind of idea about geography, what type of family. The spiritual nature of these creatures and how it is preserved. The ending was contrived with they fixed a bunch of stuff. Quick end. But, You note a desire to turn this into fiction length. If young adult, easy enough. I’d have the little girl and elf become friends, help guard their secret, have her be heralded for her support to save their world/environs, along the lines of Alice in Wonderland. But, without the creepy characters, but lovable, quirky types because they’re not like you and I, and in that same scope, see humankind as unusual, too.

The depictions of home and gnomish world intrigue. I need dimensions, and the dimension of time. If they indeed live in a hollowed out tree, its max lifetime capability is between 60-75 years. Hollowed is much less, suggests dead. And, why not remove it from property? Though, you can describe a spiritual nature guarding the tree and any perception that it never grows old. These people claim to live a lot longer. How is time kept, does it move slower? The girl could visit and be only gone an hour when it’s a half day or more in their time, which means it would affect her body’s chemistry, or aging. Might need reversal. She might be a teen or grown up when she’s out. She might lose the childlike ability to believe in these people. They get her back and return her to her normal age. Her parents think her a stranger or relative for that short while, might start a manhunt to find her. These elves reverse time so none of that happens. They sacrifice some of their spirit magic to save her. Only, they’ve transferred it to her and she becomes guardian. Maybe, I should write the book! Haha, jk. With that knowledge she can protect that tree forever. Grow to live a long life.

Otherwise, It could be a scenario where a human morphs into dwarf if they spend too much time in another dimension, making it perilous. Think Pinocchio as donkey-earred.

This story gives me lots to chew on, especially as a potential novel effort for you. A storyline to preserve the spirit that powers their world and adventures to figure out what they need to sustain life require the two young ones to team up, as elders run into conflicts where youth can save the day.

Nice story. It was a pleasure,

Brian
Super Power Reviewer

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Printed from https://writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4711480