Hi Anthony,

Stopping by to return the favor of a review... although I'm afraid I am not as prolific a reviewer as you.

So, this poem tells the story of a soldier heading off to fight leaving behind his love. A sad tale indeed because he dies in battle.

I think something that could strengthen this poem is to not let on until the last line that he is a ghost. Perhaps have the whole poem be narrated by the ghost. Having him be both alive and dead in such a short poem, changes "voices" too suddenly. Does that make sense? Have him already be dead before the poem starts and let him reminisce and pine over his love from the dead.

You might even consider writing this from the point of view of the woman who is being haunted by the love of her life.

I noticed right away the two different fonts and figured the first part was a quote from someone. It is perfectly okay to use somebody else's words in your work as long as you give them credit. This is really important. Two things you should probably do is cite whose words those are, and either use quotation marks around the words or italicize to set their words apart from yours. I see you did the opposite. But it is customary to italicize the quote.
These are the original words to the poem and it is proper use them exactly ... perhaps like this:

And thus among these rocks he lived,
Through summer heat and winter snow:
The Eagle, he was lord above,
And Rob was lord below.

~ Rob Roy's Grave by William Wordsworth

I believe a few little tweaks, and this poem will shine even more.

Best wishes and thank you for sharing.






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .