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Review #4710912
Viewing a review of:
 Bottles Are Better Than Cans Open in new Window. [E]
A limerick-style poem written from the memory of flies in soda cans.
by tj wanderlust-words-in-motion Author Icon
Review by Kit Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi tj wanderlust-words-in-motion Author Icon,

Happy Anniversary Month! *Delight*

Overall Impression:

I like fun, light-hearted poems like this. Most poets (and I include myself in this) have a tendency to pour their deepest, innermost feelings onto the page, and with life being as it is, that can get a little gloomy. The two biggest categories in "The Quills" Open in new Window. [ASR] tend to be 'dark' and 'drama', which says it all, really! We need the light, and the fun, and the plain silly, which is what you offer us here. It worked - it made me smile.

I could picture the situation perfectly. I, too, have had an insect crawl into a can of soda before. Thankfully, I didn't drink it, because it was a wasp. I am especially amused at the fly tasting like spoiled ricotta. That is unexpected. *Laugh*

On the technical side of things, I learned something new here! I'd always thought limericks followed a 9/9/5/5/9 structure, but after reading your poem I looked it up and there's a lot of flexibility there. That's good to know, because sometimes when meeting a syllable requirement things can get a bit forced. Thank you!

The poem reads well. It's entertaining. Good job!

Suggestions:

I do have one suggestion, dear author. I hope that you'll find it helpful!

*Snow2* It may be traditional to capitalise the first letter of each line, even when it is not the beginning of a new sentence, but I'm not a fan. I think that allowing the capitalisation to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece perfects the overall clarity and reading experience. Something to experiment with, perhaps?

My Rating:

This is a fun little poem. I enjoyed the read.

I did have one suggestion, but it's more a matter of personal preference. Therefore, I will still give this item a rating of 5 out of 5.

Thank you for sharing your work.

Write on!

Kit

A dragon reading a book by candle light


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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 09/07/2023 @ 1:16pm EDT
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