I may suggest changes in my review. This is not meant as 'serious' literary criticism (I’m no expert). It's merely my record of the ‘bumps’ I encounter as I travel through your words. If I'm thrown by a typo, an awkward word, or a line that doesn't scan, then it's likely that others will be as well. My intent in giving a review is to applaud your work and maybe help you to improve it. A review is merely another reference to consider. If the suggestions prove useful, then use them. If I ‘just don’t get it’, then by all means ignore me!

At the end of the hall, as she reached out, and a long spark snapped from the brass handle of the door to her hand.

lit the hurricane lamp atop the credenza. Standing there in the amber glow of its firelight (flame?), the room came alive. Shadows danced as the windows revealed the last glimmer of dusk giving way to night. The mix of sunset and the lamps lamplight were was absorbed into the wallpaper, and the runic symbols imprinted upon it began to glow. Ariel stood before the mirror standing alone in the center of the room. It too, was adorned with mystic symbols carved into its wooden frame.

The women's images within and out of the mirror were complete opposites.

His palette palate craves the taste of my loins.

When the warm umber and yellows of the flickering lamp replaced the fading white blindness, it was Leira who pulled her hand away from the mirror.

The edges of Ariel's dark, wavy hair melding melded into the fog of shadows behind her and the high-necked white dress she wore stood in stark contrast to the cracked, web-tinted (tainted?), portrait of ancient regret.

their corners pulled them back into a tight thin line.

Leira closed the door and walked down the stairs. At their base, she adjusted the top of her bustier, then pulled up a gathered up of the hem from her dress and tucked its edge under her belt.