Wow, this is an interesting poem!

Hi AJblurryface. Welcome to Writing.com. I hope you will enjoy it here as much as I do. Your poem popped up randomly on "read and Review page" so thought I'd give it a read.

I like poems that make me think and this one did just that. Especially those last two lines.

One thing I might suggest to you is to take another look at your punctuation. There are many instances where you could easily let the white space beyond each line do the pausing for you. No need to use a comma after each line unless you are wanting a longer pause.

Also, there are a few places where the first word in a line is capitalized, yet it is not the beginning of a sentence. Which is acceptable in poetry, as long as you are consistent with it. .


My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .