That was a great plot, and I loved it! . It was a good start to a story, and I'd be glad to read more if you update it. I don't know why people gave your story such a bad review, because I thought that it was excellent. You left it at a cliffhanger which is a good sign, because it will make people guess what might happen next, and you were showing most of it.
There was one mistake that stood out. instead of saying 'dying', you said 'dieing'. Also try to avoid words that have 'ly' at the end. Keep writing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .